... Y A N ...

Photobucket
`23.
`EGG.
`Virgo.
`Attitude.
`Pms Queen.
`Sensitive.
`38-ness.
`Irritating.

... LOVEs ...

` twentysix.
` POOH.
` YEOWs.
` JIE MEIs.
` RWDs.
` MONEY.

... desires ...

`Hong Kong Trip 2007.
 `Sarah Jessica Parker "Lovely" Fragrance.
`2nd pair of Havianas flip flops.
`tons of flats/sandals/pumps.
`Bags Bags Bags!
`LV coin pouch AGAIN.
`E71 mobile phone.
 `Coach Wristlet.
`Birthday BKK Trip 09!
`Phuket Trip
`Hong Kong Trip 2010
`GRADUATION!!!
`Adidas Candy Watch.
`Bangkok Trip 08/09

... inspirations ...

`SIEW XIN CHEE.
`LOOPO.
`SENGET SIEW XINYI.
`QASHaron.
`ONG AH BAO.
`TEACHER PEGGIE.
`SUET JING.
` JANICE.
` AMY.
` Chanz
` Denise
`Candice
` Yiling
` Drea
` Karin
` Tannia
` Zi Ting
` Hui Yun
` Jeslyn
` Joyce
` Pearlyn
` Nurina
` Adelene
` Terence
` Vincent
` Annie
` Rashidah
` Rose

... her doings ...

> self-doubt....
> Let it go, girl!
> 柠檬草的味道
> time flies....
> 开始懂了
> STUCKED!
> Unspoken Missessss....
> life is so random.
> I Should Be So Lucky on 14 Dec 2008.
> HERE WE GO!

... memory lane ...

> 07/01/2004 - 08/01/2004
> 08/01/2004 - 09/01/2004
> 09/01/2004 - 10/01/2004
> 10/01/2004 - 11/01/2004
> 11/01/2004 - 12/01/2004
> 12/01/2004 - 01/01/2005
> 01/01/2005 - 02/01/2005
> 02/01/2005 - 03/01/2005
> 03/01/2005 - 04/01/2005
> 04/01/2005 - 05/01/2005
> 05/01/2005 - 06/01/2005
> 06/01/2005 - 07/01/2005
> 07/01/2005 - 08/01/2005
> 08/01/2005 - 09/01/2005
> 09/01/2005 - 10/01/2005
> 10/01/2005 - 11/01/2005
> 11/01/2005 - 12/01/2005
> 12/01/2005 - 01/01/2006
> 01/01/2006 - 02/01/2006
> 02/01/2006 - 03/01/2006
> 03/01/2006 - 04/01/2006
> 04/01/2006 - 05/01/2006
> 05/01/2006 - 06/01/2006
> 06/01/2006 - 07/01/2006
> 07/01/2006 - 08/01/2006
> 08/01/2006 - 09/01/2006
> 09/01/2006 - 10/01/2006
> 10/01/2006 - 11/01/2006
> 11/01/2006 - 12/01/2006
> 12/01/2006 - 01/01/2007
> 01/01/2007 - 02/01/2007
> 02/01/2007 - 03/01/2007
> 03/01/2007 - 04/01/2007
> 04/01/2007 - 05/01/2007
> 05/01/2007 - 06/01/2007
> 06/01/2007 - 07/01/2007
> 07/01/2007 - 08/01/2007
> 08/01/2007 - 09/01/2007
> 09/01/2007 - 10/01/2007
> 10/01/2007 - 11/01/2007
> 11/01/2007 - 12/01/2007
> 12/01/2007 - 01/01/2008
> 01/01/2008 - 02/01/2008
> 02/01/2008 - 03/01/2008
> 03/01/2008 - 04/01/2008
> 04/01/2008 - 05/01/2008
> 05/01/2008 - 06/01/2008
> 06/01/2008 - 07/01/2008
> 07/01/2008 - 08/01/2008
> 08/01/2008 - 09/01/2008
> 09/01/2008 - 10/01/2008
> 10/01/2008 - 11/01/2008
> 12/01/2008 - 01/01/2009
> 02/01/2009 - 03/01/2009
> 05/01/2009 - 06/01/2009
> 06/01/2009 - 07/01/2009
> 07/01/2009 - 08/01/2009

...SHOUT ALL YOU WANT ...


... BIG Thanks To ...

` YOU.
` PEOPLE whom woke me up.
` SUAY-NESS that hit me hard.

me myself and i.
Sunday, July 27, 2008

yes wide awake at this lonely hour. wonder what's got into me that i can't go to bed. hmmmmmmm.........


beats me either.


somehow i missed the feeling of taking the drive, behind the wheels i mean.
cruising down the roads and highways like i always do, with every freedom of the drive.
places i wanted to go, chill outs, supper, hang outs and stuffs.
i love the drive.


yours truly had merely recovered from a serious sore throat known as lymph node infection and yes, my health has been on the lower side of the scale.
how i wish there was that pair of hands to keep the warmth going, but then again, rather not.
this or that? confused yet not.
hmmmmm.
paused.
maybe all was not meant to be.
be it this or that.
both not.


on the brighter side, i've gained a friend for life.
speaking of which that's j.
yes, yes, yes. read me right, pure friend type.
big congrats pls!
it's been a long long time since i've felt happiness from the bottom of my heart.
after so much shit i've been through and finally, the light has came and i'm happy the way we were.
fabulous wasnt' it?
at the very least j doesnt represent jerks-of-all-kind.
unlike the one i misjudged for, big-time-idiot-me.


well, what's over and done with, let it be bygones.
maybe i don't even want it as a memory anymore.
it's just another 2 cents worth, most prolly.
what's ahead seemed unclear.
only looking forward to my bkk trip after the big E's over...can't wait can't wait!
hang in there, 2 more weeks and yes, i'm done with Es and resume to....
PARTYINGGGGGG! =)


btw, FYI, heavy partying is unhealthy, therefore, thou shall party when needed.
which is hmmmmm one session straight after my last paper with bcom3 party people on 16 Aug.
next shall be......27th Aug? 03 Sep? and most importantly...
13th Sep,Sat with yours truly celebrating her 22nd bday in advance!

till then, it's final week into the term, end of projects and hello EXAMS.
darn it.



okay, now i'm beginning to feel sleepy.
can't help but feel emo.
argh.


tommorrow will be better

ARGHhh ranted @ 3:27 AM :|

lousy weekend.
Monday, July 21, 2008

yes, indeed. first things first it was lousy because i've bumped into someone that i've never wanted to or expected to. darn it, it was on the expressway somemore! wth. my dad's car next to his and couldn't be more astonished. argh.

spend another bomb on TUNG LOK dinner which is fucking ex at 40 bucks? wth. therafter dbl O with ivan, his friends, winnie,serene and chelsea. mambo-ed and it's been years since i've stepped into retro. obar was darn packed and full of ah keows. so damn irritating, why cant they just stay at MOS and leave my Obar alone?

anyway, clubbed and home at 4am. KO-ed feeling as empty,lousy and irritated as usual.

when will life be my turning point?
when will i stop feeling this way?
drowning my thoughts in self-pity?
drowning myself in my own deeds?
i'm supposed to live life, not screw life.

after reading Charlene's blog, who is the gf of Clifton, the one whom passed away during SAF training, she's a real inspiration to all, maybe to me at least she is. her courage, her strong-will to move on with life but deep down under, she's just as frail as any human being could be. Life's just has to be cruel with such setbacks. maybe, God is putting us through the test differently. what's sadness of mine compared to hers? hmmmm, can't help it but to tear when i've finished reading her thoughts. i can almost feel the pain. yeap, this is life.

ARGHhh ranted @ 1:31 PM :|

empty phase.
Saturday, July 12, 2008

emptying, emptied and emptiness.

yes, very. emptiness often kills.
the human heart and soul is pretty vulnerable towards such threat.
i'm just a normal human being.

my battle against emptiness begins.

ARGHhh ranted @ 2:15 AM :|

indulgence.
Friday, July 11, 2008

yes yes yes. i've sinnned again! hmmmmm, being super broke at this critical point, i've bought another top. ok, i've got my reasons yet again. cause it was on SALE!! hahahahaha. i'm being such a spendthrift for the entire GSS!!! 5 tops, 1 pair of havainas, 2 pairs of shoes and countless small lil stuffs. i've been spending so much on my parents for my shopping bills with one big one coming up, that is the breach of contract penalty for switching to starhub. sobs, work work work, how to work!!

alright back to the top story. amy met me up at bugis after my class and we went jalan. as usual, amy's out for her shopping and bought a bag and 2 tops from topshop, which cost like 158 bucks!! henceforth, i was at dorothy perkins browsing the sales rack and guess what i saw?? the butterfly-printed-sexy-top i've set eyes for 2 months ago before it went on sale. I WAS SO BLOODY TEMPTED can. however, sadly, it was a size smaller then my usual i got for dorothy perkins. but, amy insist, just go and try, you'll never know if it fits. so ok, i took her advice and since there wasn't anyone queueing, i went in to try.

amazingly, i could fit in the size 10 perfectly!!! i loved it, amy loved it and it left me stucked. buy or not to buy??? no money to pay shopping bills already and adding on another $39 bucks for my next month bill. so i had this idea of splitting the cost with mummy and i went ahead with it, using my card again. anyway, i would only have to pay this by 01 sep, when my bill arrive next month. =) so yes, i bought it happily for my birthday party session! smart right? haha.

as for this month, i'll have to scrimp and save to pay off my bills as well as return the money i owe someone. will money fall from the sky? strike 4D maybe? CAI SHEN, where are you?? hahaha.

good things always failed on me, it never happened, no matter what. =(
now i know my gut feel was right afterall. now, it's empty, completely.
i wanna take the drive again, so tempted, when will i ?

ARGHhh ranted @ 11:56 AM :|

Leona Lewis - Better in Time

It's been the longest winter without you
I didn't know where to turn to
See somehow I can't forget you
After all that we've been through

Going coming thought I heard a knock
Who's there no
Thinking that I deserve it
Now I realise that I really didn't know
If you didn't notice you mean everything
Quickly I'm learning to love again
All I know is I'ma be ok[

[Chorus]
Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
And even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time


I couldn't turn on the TV
Without something there to remind me
Was it all that easy
To just put aside your feelings
If I'm dreaming don't wanna laugh
Hurt my feelings but that's the pathI believe in
And I know that time will heal it
If you didn't notice boy you meant everything
Quickly I'm learning to love again
All I know is I'm gonna be ok


[Chorus]
Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
And even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time


Since there's no more you and me
It's time I let you go
So I can be free
And live my life how it should be
No matter how hard it is
I'll be fine without you
Yes I will

ARGHhh ranted @ 11:46 AM :|

nonsense, maybe.
Wednesday, July 09, 2008

well, shouldn't even feel not motivated at this critical moment with 2 reports under my hand to be submitted next tuesday. IM almost done, but is it really done? hmmmmm, somehow i have no idea why am i missing someone terribly when it's already out of the league.

what's the point of saying those words, when it meant nothing at all cause it has all happened. i'm so affected by those words, i just have to. time's going to heal and i'm doing just fine. the conversation should have never taken place, without you i'm moving fine all along.

you're confused while i'm not. its clear, it was just not meant to be. giving time to empty thoughts? prolly not. i'm not waiting neither keeping you in my mind, i'm leading my life as it is. i'm seriously fine and doing great without you. thus, keep your when "you're-ready-to-commit" for some other girls down.

you gave me the reason to move on. thanks =)

argh! okay, back to projects, aiming to get started for AHRP tonight and keeping my fingers crossed that i dont get roasted for my IM.

20th Aug 2008, i can't wait for my Bangkok trip. desperately in need for my dose of enjoyment!! till then, i've so much to do. EXAMS which seems the deadliest. =( wish me luck, people.

ARGHhh ranted @ 4:22 PM :|