... Y A N ...

Photobucket
`23.
`EGG.
`Virgo.
`Attitude.
`Pms Queen.
`Sensitive.
`38-ness.
`Irritating.

... LOVEs ...

` twentysix.
` POOH.
` YEOWs.
` JIE MEIs.
` RWDs.
` MONEY.

... desires ...

`Hong Kong Trip 2007.
`Sarah Jessica Parker "Lovely" Fragrance.
`2nd pair of Havianas flip flops.
`tons of flats/sandals/pumps.
`Bags Bags Bags!
`LV coin pouch AGAIN.
`E71 mobile phone.
`Coach Wristlet.
`Birthday BKK Trip 09!
`Phuket Trip
`Hong Kong Trip 2010
`GRADUATION!!!
`Adidas Candy Watch.
`Bangkok Trip 08/09

... inspirations ...

`SIEW XIN CHEE.
`
LOOPO.
`
SENGET SIEW XINYI.
`
QASHaron.
`ONG AH BAO.
`
TEACHER PEGGIE.
`
SUET JING.
`
JANICE.
`
AMY.
`
Chanz
`
Denise
`Candice
`
Yiling
`
Drea
`
Karin
` Tannia
` Zi Ting
` Hui Yun
` Jeslyn
` Joyce
` Pearlyn
` Nurina
` Adelene
` Terence
` Vincent
` Annie
` Rashidah
` Rose

... her doings ...

> self-doubt....
> Let it go, girl!
> 柠檬草的味道
> time flies....
> 开始懂了
> STUCKED!
> Unspoken Missessss....
> life is so random.
> I Should Be So Lucky on 14 Dec 2008.
> HERE WE GO!

... memory lane ...

> 07/01/2004 - 08/01/2004
> 08/01/2004 - 09/01/2004
> 09/01/2004 - 10/01/2004
> 10/01/2004 - 11/01/2004
> 11/01/2004 - 12/01/2004
> 12/01/2004 - 01/01/2005
> 01/01/2005 - 02/01/2005
> 02/01/2005 - 03/01/2005
> 03/01/2005 - 04/01/2005
> 04/01/2005 - 05/01/2005
> 05/01/2005 - 06/01/2005
> 06/01/2005 - 07/01/2005
> 07/01/2005 - 08/01/2005
> 08/01/2005 - 09/01/2005
> 09/01/2005 - 10/01/2005
> 10/01/2005 - 11/01/2005
> 11/01/2005 - 12/01/2005
> 12/01/2005 - 01/01/2006
> 01/01/2006 - 02/01/2006
> 02/01/2006 - 03/01/2006
> 03/01/2006 - 04/01/2006
> 04/01/2006 - 05/01/2006
> 05/01/2006 - 06/01/2006
> 06/01/2006 - 07/01/2006
> 07/01/2006 - 08/01/2006
> 08/01/2006 - 09/01/2006
> 09/01/2006 - 10/01/2006
> 10/01/2006 - 11/01/2006
> 11/01/2006 - 12/01/2006
> 12/01/2006 - 01/01/2007
> 01/01/2007 - 02/01/2007
> 02/01/2007 - 03/01/2007
> 03/01/2007 - 04/01/2007
> 04/01/2007 - 05/01/2007
> 05/01/2007 - 06/01/2007
> 06/01/2007 - 07/01/2007
> 07/01/2007 - 08/01/2007
> 08/01/2007 - 09/01/2007
> 09/01/2007 - 10/01/2007
> 10/01/2007 - 11/01/2007
> 11/01/2007 - 12/01/2007
> 12/01/2007 - 01/01/2008
> 01/01/2008 - 02/01/2008
> 02/01/2008 - 03/01/2008
> 03/01/2008 - 04/01/2008
> 04/01/2008 - 05/01/2008
> 05/01/2008 - 06/01/2008
> 06/01/2008 - 07/01/2008
> 07/01/2008 - 08/01/2008
> 08/01/2008 - 09/01/2008
> 09/01/2008 - 10/01/2008
> 10/01/2008 - 11/01/2008
> 12/01/2008 - 01/01/2009
> 02/01/2009 - 03/01/2009
> 05/01/2009 - 06/01/2009
> 06/01/2009 - 07/01/2009
> 07/01/2009 - 08/01/2009

...SHOUT ALL YOU WANT ...


... BIG Thanks To ...

` YOU.
` PEOPLE whom woke me up.
` SUAY-NESS that hit me hard.

The Pain
Friday, April 29, 2005

Fine. Met people. Went for Ya Kun session. Alex. Then met Tet,Jackie,Lawson & his girl. A lil walk around to scout for my Mum's bday present. Went to Poh Heng to get a glimpse of my number pendant I will want to own. 8.25pm: seperate ways. Headed for the optical shop to get my specs. Walked home alone. Listening to some music from my mp3. Quiet night.


Home early. Glue by the television till 11. Got my chores done. As usual,net surfing. Got on the phone with Peg. Sharing certain thoughts. Both good and bad. I'm so lousy at this. Somewhat I can't help it to think back. Those stuff we've done, we've shared, we've said. Its ok if you've all forgotten. Its fine. I can't throw those and leave behind. I've moved on. That doesn't mean I will not remember.Its deep, too deep. Okay, forget it. No one understands. In the end when I hear your name, I can still feel the pain.


Met Tong after his work and hanged out by my all-time fav,pineapple. Its better to treasure then never. I'm missing soon. Hee. 7-11 for his makan and then it was home at 1.20am. Oh ya, it was lucky of me getting home a lil earlier. The story goes.. Got my bath as soon as I got home. Was in my room when I heard some shoutings outside.It's coming from the void deck opp my block. trying to scout and see who the hell is yelling and shouting at this hour. Initial thought of people quarreling. Geez, it was a man, not sure if its a chinese,malay or indian. He was shouting at the incense bin, in a language I can't differentiate or understand.It does freak me a lil. I'm a frequent night owl and getting home at wee hours. Finally I do understand where Mummy's worries are coming from. I better pray hard I will not bump into anyone like this. =X
It gets scary when I walk home alone. Duhz.


Somehow I'm affected. I'm uncertain of what I've been thinking. Its weird. People tend to forget about themselves. They always place others before themselves. They love others more than itself. It end up with tormenting and self-torture. Besides talking about self-torture, it pains those who cared.Those who cared felt helpless. I'm one of them. Can't help but it's the fact. So people, learn to love yourself more. Then, others will love you more. love is all around. Its matters you yourself to vision and realise them.


I holding to what I believe. Am I wrong now? I'm that stubborn,refusing to get any piece of advice into my head.Can anyone tell me what the hell is wrong with me again? I'm nuts or what.I do hope every stuff,everyone and everyday shall be fine. Mummy's birthday draws near, with me scrimping and saving for something for Mummy. Not something big,neither does it seems special. But, my every heart and thought counts. Here's all for you Mummy. Hee, just bare with this, I'll be able to afford something better and bigger surprise in the coming years, when my income explains my affordability. =)


Long Weekend plans. Friday, not knowing what's in store. Probably chalet booking for RWD. Geez, I do hope we are able to get at least $345 bucks to book the chalet for week of 9th May which is just round the corner. Tentative dates :10th May - 13th May 05, Tues-Fri. Saturday plans for Tracy's 21st Birthday chalet with 38s.Sunday plans for Mummy's birthday. Its her shot. Monday plans as its public hol, hmmm Sentosa rwds? If not, I shall be on my own way with those girls again.Hee. Can't get enough of more tan! It's been freaking hot these days!!


I'm so tempted to fly for holidays now.Geez, can't get into those Jetstar and Valuair promo tix to HKG or TPE. Damn! Be sure that will be one when I'm going to end my SIP. Chanz and I shall get ourselves a lil hol to HKG or TPE just as SIP ends and before sem 2 starts. Nothing will stop us, we've got them planned! Hey girl, let's get our planning start by September ya? Pray hard for more promos then. hee. Any more to join our trip? The more the merrier, can't wait.


Okay, enough of my long posts. Ready for weekend? Yeah. I'm not in da right mood anyway. Good night people.

ARGHhh ranted @ 2:34 AM :|

Thursday, April 28, 2005


Wow. An amazing year passed. This pic tracked back 27th april 2004. Thanks for everything bud.
:: Yan ::

ARGHhh ranted @ 1:30 AM :|

Its all about oneself.

Back from a hectic day. Been to places, done certain things, saw some people i've really missed. both good and bad. Kicked off my day with barely 4 hours of sleep after some chat with Paul then Tong till 4am. Got up at 8am and off i headed for school, meeting Chanz for a lil curry puff breakfast. Got school by 9am and almost everyone is ready for the SIP launch. It was that bad after all, with some interesting sharing by our fellow seniors. Can't wait for SIP, yet having some worries. =P


LOs session ended a lil earlier than expected. Headed for vcd shop to return them,the optical shop to get my specs done. My beloved red specs. =) Packed lunch and met up with Tong for his bike practical. geez, you're such a blessed one. Lunch home, got a bath,went for CDC. It was damn bloody hot la, with the kind of weather that perpectually kills. Revision for my BTT which is next friday, hoping and praying I will be able to make it this time round.Can't wait for my first practical too!! hee. Guess what, this dude passed his practical 3 on its first attempt! haha, lucky no you've got,lucky friend you've brought or maybe its being pro or luck? Well done dude! So proud of you.


He was getting a lil hoo-ha over his pass,geez Congrats bud. After those hoo-ha and excitement, headed back to my place as we were really getting that tired,with that much of sleep we had. Bath,done chores and then it was lala time. Zzzzz,I'm that pig to have slept for 1 1/2 hrs, after some peace from Tong,as he was not able getting into his nap. It was almost 6.30pm when I got myself freshened up and met James and Senget for interchange. The dudes headed Long John for dinner, then TM for a lil walk. Got myself another three items for my shopping and wish list.

1. Poh Heng's Diamond Number Pendant @ $288 per pendant without necklace or chain.

2. 77th street dogtag accessories @ $8.90.

3. Mummy's brithday cum Mothers' Day present. Probably C&K heels @ $33.


Last but not least, more tops and clothings. Where's those money? I need them for my driving licence too. Damn. I'm totally squeezed and broke. After some walk, we've decided to settle down at Ya Kun for kopi session as Pavillion was packed. It's my first time hanging out with Senget,James and Tong for Ya Kun,instead of my usual kaki.Hee. We had all set A's, with Senget finishing those bread. I've enjoyed my fav half-boiled eggs with tea-o and kaya toast. My dinner. Yummy and nice. After Ya Kun it was plain slacking time by the playground opp CS. James headed for work at about 10.30pm and the 3 of us were heading home.


A year has passed.Too much have happened. Happy and sad. I'm still blessed I'm still with these people that have been in my life. Hanged out by central park with Tong, sharing thoughts, views,voices within us,happy and sad moments.My new chapter will start in less than a month's time with SIP for entire 6 months. Pretty worried for changes. Adaptation is a must. Determination to trust. I may not be involved as much as what's now, but bare it in my heart I've always remember. I will and I am. Just like what my bud said, " Since we've have the time now, we hang out. till my SIP, it will be such a rare chance." Yeah, that's why I'm treasuring every time we have. Sounded so attached right? I guess I'm.


Mentioned by my senior from Hospitality Mgmt,

" It's tough to balance between work and
family as well as loved ones during your course and adaptation of SIP. I thought I could in the first place, but I've failed. Hence, do not be like me. I've been obsessed with my work and neglected my loved ones."


It staggered thoughts immediately into my mind. this is exactly I've been worrying since Day 1 when the whole SIP got involved this semester.I'm afraid yet I do not want to show. I've calmed myself down many times, as there is nothing I could do to stop my SIP. Its part of my life which I could not reject.It concerns my future, my education, my family. Its something I've want for SIP that I've got my first choice of company,Valuair. I'm happy to get what I want, yet I'm held back from being excited and anticipating.duhz.


I will have to try my very best though it will be tough ahead. To those who were still there, be there.I'm here. I hope I do not neglect anyone I've loved and cared,esp my family which I've been neglecting these days.SIP will be the great challenge. I will achieved and beat this challenge.


Thinking of saving up for driving license, a budget holiday to HKG or TPE after SIP, getting my expensive stuff as well as some treats for my family and besties. Hee. I'm not that rich as an intern afterall. I will do as much I can. =)


"No one is born to love itself. Loving others is a nature. We live to love others but never forget to love yourself. Love yourself more."

This is something for my bud. Its not something great, it's just the quote I've learned in my way of life. Love yourself.


Good night people.

ARGHhh ranted @ 12:26 AM :|

Argh!!
Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Bad bad day. Threw temper. Cursed and Swear. Emotions flew. Oh my God. Damn.


Tong came over as soon as he finishes school. Slacked till almost 6pm,Senget came. Chin Meng called to meet for inter to get Ke Xin's bday present. Met An,Chin Meng and Zi Ting. Met Dick at inter. Went over to TM to get the present and a lil walk. Headed for Ke Xin's place. Had a lil game of 5,10,15 and headed home at about 11pm. Slacked around by the maze and got home at 12 with An and Chin Meng coming up for the toilet. That's the end of the day.


Running through lots of thoughts. Bad ones. Every fault seemed mine. Unfair. This is the way I'm feeling right now. Full of never-ending responsibilities.This shall be the life I'm spending till I drop dead one day.


I'm sorry to have affect those that were victimised by my PMS or temper. Esp to those that are close to me. Sorry.... I've been such a pain in their neck!! I will kill myself someday and you guys will never have to tolerate those again. Promised.


Yipeee! I'm gonna see my babes tomorrow! SIP launch at 9am, LT21.To all tourism people! Can't imagine my 6-month long SIP starting on May 24th. Bless me everyone. Those who will get to see me lesser, please remember me cause I'm going to miss those. My slacking times, vcding, Ocha, my 38s, my besties, Sentosa,family. Hee, my friend/family sickness.Feeling both anticipated and excited for SIP at Valuair, be it for the better or worse? Let's see.


Okay, time to settle down and pack my stuff for school tomorrow. I can't even sleep at this hour and I bet it will be another less than 5hrs of sleep night for me. Good night people!

ARGHhh ranted @ 12:23 AM :|

Tuesday, April 26, 2005


random pics from Chee and Senget's new digi cam. when's mine?
:: Yan ::

ARGHhh ranted @ 1:37 AM :|


Burnt. Sentosa ended.
:: Yan ::

ARGHhh ranted @ 1:33 AM :|


OMG. Can't stand myself. Duhz. Puking blood?
:: Yan ::

ARGHhh ranted @ 1:32 AM :|


what is this crazy biatch trying to do? Getting her pose ready. Lousy one with a losy photographer who simply can't estimate.hee.
:: Yan ::

ARGHhh ranted @ 1:28 AM :|

Check this out.

Sample reading taken from astrology.com. Its about you and your best friend compatibility. check this out. hee. was rather bored hence i've got myself one. Here goes..


A Comparison of Temperaments and Life Styles that Affect Your Ability to Harmonize with Each Other

Both of you have Venus conjunct or in hard aspect to Pluto:

Both of you can be quite possessive, jealous, and intensely attached to and involved with your friends. Elements of subtle manipulation or emotional blackmail may enter into this relationship at times. Both of you are drawn to rather willful, intense people, which may be why you are drawn to one another. You both have much to learn about giving freely and allowing your friends to have a life, separate from you! There may be a love-hate or attraction-repulsion quality to your relationship at times.


Sun & Mars hard or conj for Wei Tong, soft for Yan:

Both of you are high-energy people. Yan can help Wei Tong learn to direct competitive drives and personal power into positive channels, as this is something Yan has mastered in ways that Wei Tong is still grappling with. Wei Tong tends to go overboard, and become aggressive, angry, and belligerent at times, whereas Yan is smoother and less likely to aggravate other people when being assertive and forceful. Yan has integrated and developed certain aspects of the masculine principle (the ability to act, to achieve, to assert the self effectively) and can model this for Wei Tong.


Hmm, seems like its rather true, what do you think dude?

ARGHhh ranted @ 12:59 AM :|

T E N N I S
Monday, April 25, 2005

woohoo. Felt good after some working out, with tennis. =) Kakis included Senget,Hock,Ben,Tong,Zi Ting,Kexin and Chanz. Got to Tp at about 5 plus and started spacking those tennis balls. Had a fun time playing around as the guys got themselves with thier own court,own game. While the girls, we, got ourselves into more of practices and how to serve the tennis ball. Its been such a long time since I've move myself into exercise. I'm back for more.


After the play at about 7 plus, we headed for Ocha then dinner at 829. Met up with a couple of more people while Senget headed for makeup class and Hock back home. People like An,Paul, Qin Yao,Chin Meng and Bg. After makan was Ben's place for mahjong. Went up a lil while and got home with Tong at about 11. Geez, would Dad just spare me??


I've been receiving calls from him, reprimanding me for not doing my chores. Hello, I've done my part even before I went out! I won't get myself out unless I've done my job. ARGH! I guess he will never understand. Forget it.


Its rather early with nothing much to do. Guess it will be vcding and I'm going to return them tomorrow. Or else it will be more fines. Duhz. Hmm, wonder what's in store for me tomorrow. No programs ahead. It will be back to Tp for my SIP launch. duhz. Will be seeing my babes soon!! i've been missing them greatly. SIP will be seperating us. It will be another 4 hours of lecture and tutorial.Meeting my LOs for SIP. Bless us all tourism people. hee.


Enjoyed the out though there was a few annoying people I could not bother at all. I don;t give them a damn. Those suckers I loathe.


On my way towards recovery, towards a better me. So hindrance aside please.Any interference will not be entertained. Thanks to those who were there. =)


I'm much better and happier. I know what will come. What I'm having. That's just enough for now. That's about it. Good Night for a better tomorrow!

ARGHhh ranted @ 11:55 PM :|


Woohoo!! Siloso Beach. Having such a fun time!
:: Yan ::

ARGHhh ranted @ 1:55 PM :|


Next..Ms Yeow vs Ms Tan.
:: Yan ::

ARGHhh ranted @ 1:54 PM :|


next... Ms Lee (again) vs Ms Tan.
:: Yan ::

ARGHhh ranted @ 1:53 PM :|


ok..round one of cute-posing-self-obessed pics. Ms Lee vs Ms Yeow.
:: Yan ::

ARGHhh ranted @ 1:53 PM :|


S E N T O S A here we are....
:: Yan ::

ARGHhh ranted @ 1:52 PM :|

S E N T O S A

Wow. Weekend flew. Got some stuff pretty screwed up. Certain stuff regarding human relationship. It ain't easy as it was rather nasty. I'm not going to create such grandmother stories again,as it have been ocurring numerous of times. Sad.


Saturday was fine with Senget,Mond and Tong coming over to my place for dvd. Got ourselves Seed Of Chucky from Ms Lee May Chan.The effect wasn't that good,neither did the storyline attracts me. Its just plain to kill time.Slacked till almost 7 that we headed for makan at 827. Vcd shop next and it was Chin Meng's place.Usual.Somehow, thoughts ran into,getting me into PMS mode. Nothing much to mention,just my PMS. Headed back home at 11 plus alone, meeting up with Ms Lee to chill.


I was glad to realise she's willing to hear my nonsense.Thanks my long time bud.The longest ever. I'm so so sorry if I was ermm, the pain on your neck. Got home at almost 1am. I couldn't get myself into bed,after tossing and turning,thinking of the worse that might happen to me. Torture that was.After some hours of tossing and turning, I was in my lala land at almost 5am.Geez, thanks to those who was there for me just for the moment of despair. Chanz,Ryna and Tong. I've always love you guys. Thanks.


As the tormenting night goes, I woke up at 10am, getting myself all ready for SENTOSA!! Yipee!! That was the big part for the day,the entire weekend. Met up with Chanz at 10.30 and headed for Habourfront to meet up with Peg.Yes, just the three of us. Without rwds. First time though.It was such a nice afternoon chilling out with these two. We were at Siloso,then it was Palawan. Thanks to Ms Lee that the three of us were walking from Siloso to Palawan, as she was craving for 7-11 stuff. Hence, it was my first time at Palawan and had a great time by the platform which Siloso doesn't have. The weather was fine, but it could be better with bigger and sunnier SUN. I need the sun to achieve my tanning effects. I'm going to there next week without fail if there will not be any match.Or sometime this week.


Headed for wash up at about 5 and we were taking crazy shots in bikinis in the toilet, washing up in our bikinis as there was long queue for shower.Craziest bunch of bitches thats what people might think. Headed back for makan again at the hawker for chicken rice. Back at tamp at about 7.30pm and I was heading for Chin Meng's place as the dudes were there,Ms Lee back home to wash up and Peg to meet her bf. Both of them headed back to Chin Meng's place for some slacking session as Ms Lee wanted to mahjong. In the end, she did not get to play.Sorry babe, some extra wanted to play.But, we've got ourselves some bubble tea as we won finally.Thanks to Paul though.


Soccer was in at 11 after some makan at 820. Headed to 7-11 with Senget,Tong and Hock. Chat a lil while with Tong and got myself home at 2. Duhz, I'm dead tired already. Tennis session tomorrow at 5pm with Ms Lee,still finding some others to join!


The day gone by with much more to ponder.I've came to realise. The reason that cause all those change.The kind of selfish thought I had. The inferior side of me that won. I was such a loser. A big time. I'm on my way to recover which includes time. No one is made or born to be perfect. I thank God for these people in my life. I will not lose them for as long as they are willing to be with me. There's nothing much to mention. They know they are there. I know.


I care for those who cared. I loathe those who bounced. I HATE BOUNCED CHEQUES.


I'm on my way to adaptation to changes. I'm trying.

ARGHhh ranted @ 2:51 AM :|

What About Me.
Saturday, April 23, 2005

Sometimes I ever wonder did God forgot my existence in this world. Or simply did he created this human with a bare soul. I'm the one without any logic. I'm tired.


I knew what I wanted now.I knew what I always posessed. Its time to move on and planned for the future. My life.What's in my life? What do really want for myself. HMm, that's a chimeelolegy question I've came across so far. Just as being me, I'm always there to make people happy. The defination of happiness ain't satisfaction. Its a defination that varies from each individual. The smile on their faces would bring satisfaction to me.I don't mind my services for those besties. But? Was the end something I'm asking for? I'm seeing myself as much as a fool. A silly-brainless-lousiest lady that is surviving on this planet known as EARTH.

Oh no. I do not have the answer for myself either.


Simply I'm forgotten? Simply I'm hollow? Simply feeling damn empty?


Hopes gone.


There shall be no one I will depend on. Let me learn the hard way through.The way to my independence. Myself being the 1st grade me, not being the 2nd grade of myself just because people want me to. Quoted from some inspirer known as Ryna. Thanks babe. So the bottom line shall be, should I or should I not. The voice kept me twirling. I'm trying to pace up and follow my heart, not wanting it to be left behind. I'm far from that. So far away.


The difficult time is back. Being caught to make decisions for myself. Thinking back, why should I even place people on top of list when I'm 2nd or no where to be seen on their list? I should be treating them equally to what they are treating me. It ain't being selfish now. I have been there, not once but almost thrice. I know how exactly it feels. But, I will have to do it.


I ain't spelling those out,I'm keeping it for myself. The time will arrive to reveal every hidden side of me. Every single side, every single action to be done. Take a breath and bare those for about a month. Everything shall be gone by then, the day my new life begins. I'm sorry to those who have been there with me. This is for myself.


The empty soul searching for its body.

ARGHhh ranted @ 3:07 AM :|

Oh my God.
Friday, April 22, 2005

Question of the day. Am I such a lousy biatch or what. Being paranoid? I'm damn frustrated. Super helpless. I need some dosage of please-do-not-think-so-much kinda of drug. I'm insane. Incurable.


Before its going to be another insane-out-of-the-world post, I'm slacking the entire day through. Met up with An for ocha session before heading for Senget's place for vcding. God damn rowdee,that crazy dog. He was such a lunatic today,barking non-stop at me and got me a scratch on my knee!! Ouch!! Thanks Rowdee.Headed home at about 10pm and was on the phone with besties Bao and Peg. Got a call from Tong after work,hence went to meet up with him for a lil chat at 7-11.Home about an hour ago.


Arranged to meet up with Alex tomorrow for some tea session.Miss that guy.I missed lots of people too! Ryna,Jessica,Ling...Its been such a long time since i've caught up with them!! I miss you babes! SIP starting in a month's time. Damn, it will be the time to miss another bunch of people,with the limited time I will have to spare then. My family. My besties. =P


I'm super super confused. Leave it up till tomorrow. I guess its just me being super paranoid. Having those uncessary thoughts that stir up nothing but trouble. Hee, I'm insane.I'm such a lunatic that anyone can stand.But, my conscience is clear.I know what i had, i know what i want. I want now.


This will be the forecast of my day ahead.

Virgo (Aug 23 - Sep 22)

The Bottom Line
You're multi-layered. Show someone a previously hidden side of you.

In Detail
You're the very soul of accommodation. You love to make others happy and you'll offer your services to achieve those ends any time you think you're needed. That's lovely, but you often forget about your own needs in the process. Don't let that happen now. You were recently introduced to someone who could make this a wonderful weekend for you -- if you let them. Allow the rest of the world to take care of itself, just for now.


The time will arrive in a month's time.

ARGHhh ranted @ 1:55 AM :|

My Days
Thursday, April 21, 2005

I'm back. To talk on the days that i've been till this midweek.

First stop. Tuesday. 19th April.

Got up at almost the same time as been for the past month of holidays. Had instant noodles for lunch with extra of two eggs. Tong came over after his class to slack till almost six and met up with Paul for their bike practical. Accompanied the dudes till 8.30pm and too bad, they flung their practical. Hmmm, sure pass for the next guys!! Headed back in cab again to 820 for dinner. Next stop was my place to have vcd and met up with An after his work. We had some tv watching instead till past midnight that Paul wanted to have something to eat. Hence, we met up with Ben but Tong headed home as he was tired. Slacked till almost 3am with Jason,Bert and Dao Jin joining us at Jason's block. I was damn tired......


Next stop. Wednesday. 20th April.

I was being disturbed by numerous messages from Tong as he have an early today.Finally, i've got up at late 2pm and was calling him to wake him up from his nap.Decided to head for makan at 826 with him.Bumped into Hock and headed for vcd shop after lunch. We've got the dvd for 'National Tresure'. That's one brilliant show with a brilliant storyline. Enjoyed with Senget,Paul and Tong after a lil Ocha session at my place. Slacked till 8.30pm when Senget headed home,Paul to Ben's place for mahjong session. I was with Tong to airpot as he had to takeover Rykiel's place as she was having some stuff on. Cabbing as usual. Was on the phone with Zi Ting, touching on various topics. It was comfortable chatting with her. Thanks babe! Or rather hope that i'm not that of nuisance in your neck, cause they always find me noisy. =)

Slacked till knocked-off time at 11.30pm and headed back to Tamp. Was intending to have mahjong but there was no one. Hence, headed way home and got down for a lil chat at the park with Tong. Hmm, dude don't think so much.the biggest problem is no one but yourself. Overcome yourself, be yourself. I'm always here for you.Anytime.


Final stop. HOME.

No place better than home. Home's best. Right people?Hmm, been through lots of thoughts,calming myself down since those thoughts hit me just not long ago. Have I become such a pain that everyone hates.Or rather have I been abandoned? I can't resist the feeling of loneliness. I simply can't. Somehow deep down, I wish someone to know, someone to share. Was there such person at all? Or it's just some illusions of mine?


Those people who made gave me their promises, will they be there to keep them? Or simply could not be bothered and throw them all away.I'm guilty to some. But I'm yearning for some. I hope someone would feel ,someone who know, someone would even bother. That's all.


Enough of all. I'm tired of mentioning. I am .I do. Let time pass every bit of the sorrow and get on with my life.It shall began in a month's time. It will. Till that period, I will be missing some of my greatest bestest people. I will. =(


It's another tomorrow to treasure.

ARGHhh ranted @ 1:11 AM :|

Tuesday, April 19, 2005


a set of not-so-white-and-neat teeth that seeks for braces treatment soon. (those were not mine, its my bro's.) hee hee.
:: Yan ::

ARGHhh ranted @ 4:04 PM :|


a set of no-so-white-and-neat teeth. My bro and I will undergo braces treatment soon. ( This set ain't mine,its his.)
:: Yan ::

ARGHhh ranted @ 3:14 AM :|


Some random pics i've uploaded from my hp. The cuties pies of 2005 belongs to..... Ms RYNA TAN and Ms WINNIE YEOW!! Hee, we make the best !
:: Yan ::

ARGHhh ranted @ 3:11 AM :|


Me in my going-to-sleep look. Had the pic when it was holiday at Genting. That kuku seems energetic.
:: Yan ::

ARGHhh ranted @ 3:08 AM :|


Roxysss.... every girl is gaga over with. Thats Chy on the top left,Ryl on the top right,Drea's brown and mine is next to Drea's. One of the coincedence pic I took during our lec break.
:: Yan ::

ARGHhh ranted @ 3:08 AM :|


Go go Power Ranger! Sounds kinda of familiar? hee, me with Tong's helmet on.
:: Yan ::

ARGHhh ranted @ 3:06 AM :|


oh my god. GAYS which I'm simply so turned off. yucks...
:: Yan ::

ARGHhh ranted @ 3:05 AM :|


this lady here is being creative. what BIG EYES she have with those egg tarts on.
:: Yan ::

ARGHhh ranted @ 3:05 AM :|


Cocked eye fella who is trying to be funny. hee hee hee. it is funny.
:: Yan ::

ARGHhh ranted @ 3:04 AM :|


a bite off the carrot cake. Resemblence of Alex.
:: Yan ::

ARGHhh ranted @ 3:04 AM :|


twins? nah, just my bro. either he's too girlish, or i'm too boyish.
:: Yan ::

ARGHhh ranted @ 3:04 AM :|


boring lecture i'm laways attending...this one's definately POM.
:: Yan ::

ARGHhh ranted @ 3:03 AM :|


bro of the acting cute one. this fella here is trying to act cool by trying on my big loop ear rings. hee hee.
:: Yan ::

ARGHhh ranted @ 3:02 AM :|


this 21 yr old to be NS men, trying to act young and act cute. can't stand him.
:: Yan ::

ARGHhh ranted @ 3:01 AM :|

Pending Decision
Monday, April 18, 2005

It seems that nothing is working out the way i've planned to be.I'm felt so helpless.My mind and actions are working the exact opposite direction!! Tell me how, tell my why! I've been thinking the entire night out,tossing in bed,wondering and pondering about the consequences.


there are people i can't let go,things i can't let go. But, why am I feeling the kind of sorrow which it should never exist at all?

"Follow your heart, never leave your heart behind.."

Would someone just open up the heart of mine and understand the chapters in it? Please.


Sorrows aside first. Had a productive day,being to have lots of company the entire day. Woke up late at almost 1pm. Decided to meet up with Chanz for Tm, lunch and a lil of jalan jalan. Take a good walk, setting my eyes on various stuff. A fox board shorts,a fox top,new pair of sandals or even skirt. But, i'm financially handicapped.Would some kind souls spare me a few hundred bucks?hee.


After jalan, met up with Tong,An and Senget at Ocha after getting a call from An. Then, it was an unexpected visit to Zi Ting's place. We went up to get a look at her dog,Niki. She's shy, but she was rather active after moments of warming up. Sorry for bothering you babe. Haha. All thanks to An, fooling around and pranking Tong. hee, its such pleasure to see this bestie of mine to get fooled around.Helpless feeling right?? Enjoy right? Alright, shall not make fun out of people's sorrow.Or rather i've said it wrongly, its happiness that should be.hee hee hee.


We were at Zi Ting's place till about 6pm that we headed for dinner at 827 with Chanz heading home.After dinner was home, waiting for those dudes to get home for bath and back to my place for vcd watching. A lil of tv-watching and vcding of The Pacifier then it was soccer action at about 11. Headed down for 7-11 to get "kua zi", but i was back with Pocky.


Will be turning in early as I will be up earlier to meet up with my dear Ryna and Jessica for a lil lunch at town!! Hee, miss those two babes madly!! =)


My decision will be in pending mode, till i've think thrice of what to do. Most probably time will be the best cure of all. I'm lost. When the time shall arrive, every stuff would be taken away from me. EVERYTHING WILL GO, leaving me with NOTHING. Barely just me.


I'm living in the world of illusions.Contradictions.

ARGHhh ranted @ 11:49 PM :|

6-0
Sunday, April 17, 2005

Live report from East View. Ah hmm. Attention please everyone, thank you.

This is the report from East View, the time is 1300 hrs. Team members of rwd are stepping into the match groud, getting ready and warm up for the much anticipated-long waiting match of the months to come. Opponents arrived shortly and were preparing for the match. There seems to be a problem as both teams to have the some colour of jersey.This was due to the miscommunication between both teams but nevertheless, the oppponents had to have a change of gear.


1320hrs. Match kickoff. There have been a number of spectators such as Fel,Keong's sis,Pearly,Sharon,Lydia,Bao and myself. It have been a scoring first half of the match. Within ten minutes of kickoff, Khia Seng scored the first goal. After much tackling and attacking, there was an own-goal by the opponents and the scoreline is up at 2-0.a corner was given to rwd not long after the own-goal and Tong scored the third with a header. Then it was another goal but Khia Seng with the score of 4-0 at the end of first half.


1415hrs. 2nd half was back. This time round it hasn't been that well for rwd as there was a mess at midfield. There was a change of formation and it result certain miscommunication. But, with the team coordination and cohesiveness,the team was back to perform. Giving another shot from Khia Seng as well as a final shot from Iskandar.


Beep beep!!! Final whistle blown and it was set at 6-0.


Hee hee, rwd won the first match in many months of break.Well done guys!! there shall be more victory to come.


Ok,enough of my 'live' report of this afternoon's match. there have been some camera action with Bao's viewcam and rwd in its new jersey. Makan was right after the match and it was video watching at Chin Meng's place. Headed home with Tong and Bao in cab. After some washing up,met Tong,An and Sharon for video-watching.


Well, we had a fair bit of laughter due to the kinda of quality that those cameramen have. I was one of the camerawomen too.haha.Took some shots during halftime and was rather entertaning, some stuff which are behind the scenes. There was some stars of the team such as no 2,6,8 and 22.It was entertaining right guys? Okay,if it is just save up those praises, i'm shy.hee hee.


It was rather boring at Chin Meng's place as it was only 6.30pm when we finish the unfinished video as it was running out of batt during the second half of the match. Slacked around and had some NKF watching which i've been missing for the past two years.It's amazing how some people have that courage to live on with the torture of kidney disease. I'm healthy. But why am I having discontentments in my life. I'm lucky,blessed with a healthy body.Think of others' encounter and think of yourself again.


Headed for prata makan with Paul,Senget,Hock,Kuku and Bg as we were hungry and An did not manage to get us our run-out-of-stock briyani.duhz.Some soccer watching of Man Utd vs Newcastle.4-1 final score with Manutd into the finals of FA Cup,facing Arsenal. Headed home after the match with Tong and Chee.


I'm home early. With unwanted naggings from home.ARGH!! Leave me alone!! Damn.


It's been never ending stories, ups and downs in me. I'm not sure of anything at all.Feeling is that strong.Everything will be fallen into pieces, those tiny pieces that i'm having problem to fix it back.There have been some missing understanding from family,from friends and from myself. There is no one i turned to these days,being into depression mode again. I'm okay in the day but I ain't in the night.When everything is so quiet and peaceful in the night, i will began to think.


I will have thoughts about my future, the near days to come, the things that might happen,for the good or the worse. I would feel sad for the worse outcome.Its known a thinking-too-much syndrome in this lady. This is how the kinda of depression arises. Or rather i would think back for those events that have happened druing the recent days. I would regret for the kinda of things i've done,either i'm doing a bad deed or someone might have upset me.


Every single thing that have been memorable to me,be it the good or the bad is living in me as the days pass. It's been over a year i've been in this life, the life with guys all around almost every single day of my life. I pay no attention to peoples' comments and view about the life i'm leading.Yet at this moment,I've began to pace down and take a look back.

"Will this be the life I'm leading for the next few months/years down the road?"

"Am I happy and satisfied with this life?"

"Are there people and events left to caryy on?"

"Where are my true friends?"

"Have I changed? Be it the better or worse?"

I have began to wonder. I'm just a nobody, a screwed up girl, or not if I'm a girl at all.I'm like becoming a boy to be, feeling so tomboy these days.Be it the behavior or attitude. I feel so yucks!!!! I do not want to become a MEI REN YAO de NAN REN PO.

I'm sad. I'm very very sad and lost.


Cross junction this moment. To leave and get my new life or my new life shall come soon.

Its not the first time i'm having this kind of thought.Its silly that may seems to others, to my friends and fellow rwd.It's like WHAT THE FUCK? AGain? I'm sick and tired of all these shit from myself. This time its true, I'm devastated with all those comments around. Those feelings i'm going through.


EAch one seems to leave one by one. Everything is so near yet so far, just like what Chanz have to comment about.


I will not be okay for the next few days or weeks.


Will people just let me die. It would benefit them in lots of ways.

ARGHhh ranted @ 11:31 PM :|

D i s a p p o i n t m e n t s

What a day. Started to have my sleep at about 8am this saturday morning.

Reason : Jason,Tong and Paul was at my place after supper the night before.

Jason went off to work at about 7.45am,leaving those two in my room who initially wanted to get up early for soccer training. I was not aware of the time the finally left when my bro inform me when i was reluctantly dragged back to my room. Zzzzzz all the way till it was almost 2pm when i got up and get my chores done. Got a call from Tong about plans of the day but i had to get my chores done first.


Everything was done by 3.30pm but that dude did not reply to my msg,neither does he answer my calls.An was asking me to accompany him to the airport but i was not able to as my aunt and co will be coming over to my place for the usual mahjong session. I was bored home till almost 6 plus in the evening when i met up with Senget and Jason for dinner at 827. Bumped into Mond as he was heading for his friend's birthday celebration.


Makan was at 827, then it was vcd shop for some show hunting. Finally, Tong called and decided to meet up as we were heading for Chin Meng's place. Hence, headed over to Chin Meng's place with Paul,Tong,Jason and Senget. An and Bert joined after work. It was pretty much of slack slack and more slack time.I was tired that i've tried to get myself some rest either by the sofa or the bed in the room.

BUT, it has never been a successful attempt.

Q :Why is this so??

A: Its all because of some disturbing/nothingbettertodo/cheeky monkey's entertainment.

Q: Who's that so-called cheeky monkey?

A: Duhz. It's obvious right? Who else but Tong la!

.........................


Alright, my lamest. Apologies. I guess just like what An have to add on that with Tong and Me around in the house, its pretty much of noise! Hey come on guys, its not entirely that the fault lies within me.I'm sorry if there have been inconveneince caused to people with the kind of noise pollution i've created.


BUT, the bottom line is still FUN! Who cares??? I'm not in anyway obstructing people, right? After much of the bickering and fighting, we are settled down with nothing to do. Hence, Senget, Tong and I decided to head home first. Went up to 7-11 for a lil drink and slack till12 plus. Bumped into Fel, Keong and his lil sis. All the topic was about tomorrow's match.


Rwd vs some sec 5ns.
Venue: East View Secondary
Time: 1300hrs

Damn. it would be such freaking hot weather to have such a match.All the best guys, and hope that you guys keep yourselves in tip-top condition esp to that injury-proned Mr Teo Wei Tong. Bao and I shall perform our duties and responsibilities in getting you guys the water as well as first-aid, if there's a need. Let's hope not.


Alright,rwd stuff aside. It's some time for my personal thoughts.


After reading some posts by Drea at her own bloggy, i began to feel what's she's probably going through right now. Simple logic and senses. Humans do not need promises when they simply meant nothing. As it is people tend to forget promises that might mean the world to you, yet they just mention for the sake of mentioning, preventing that current situation to worsen.
I've heard times of these from various people, those people i thought i knew were dear to me.


They've given their word, being as " I will be here for you." I trusted, I believed. yet, some people gave me some stuff known as disappointments. Big time disappointments. I'm being unfair to some people who really meant their words. I'm uncertain of trusting. Trusting of promises given and spelled to me.


I'm at the crossroads now.Facing two different ways for me to carry on with my life.

No 1 : Let it all go, be yourself, trust and love the dear ones still.

No 2: Be it a selfish one, love and trust no one but yourself. Let every friendship be a "Pte Ltd".

I'm lost, uncertain and I'm not happy at all. there's a loophole somewhere.The fear gets to me as in I would be losing another bestie of mine. The fear of losing out to some people in the terms of favouritism.

Yes, this lady here do practice some favouritsm in her bunch of peeps. Nonetheless, she've tried to be fair for all,which she knew she would never achieve. I loved to be the centre of attention. I loved to be favouritised. I hate losing and being the 2nd within my bestie. I never like to share what's appeared to be the best.


People, tell me who would like to share its bestest stuff with anyone else,even some what known as friend? I hate that kind of feeling,being losing out my favourtism to others. =(


I ain't asking for much at this point of time. All i'm ever gonna need is simple care and concern from my besties. Is that some stuff that is too much? Relationships may be the biggest hurdle to all friendships.


I hope that it will not a fall to my very last bestie friendship i'm holding on. That's nonetheless Tong. it's lucky of me having him now. I'm not sure when the day it will be,but for as long as I'm around, I'll do my part not to let it fall. Everything is in the heart. You know it.


It's such mental torture having to learn on independence. This girl will eventually grow up and she's in satisfaction on what's in her life. Except for those disturbing people she perceived. It's that damn hard to get rid of them. ARGH!


I'm out. That's about it these days. I'm seeking for the better to turn out, seeking for the brighter days as well as a happier me.Actions would have to speak louder than words.


I will love and i will love to hate.

ARGHhh ranted @ 12:42 AM :|

Hmmm...
Saturday, April 16, 2005

Quick post before i drop dead. This day has been quite a productive one which i thought would be a boring one. Brief events that took place
  • Met up Chanz for lunch at about 1.30pm @ 844. Slacked a while and came over to my place for the afternoon. Its been such a long time since this girl came by.haha.
  • Then, it was so bored of her that she decided to play pool and its on her treat! haha. Thanks babe!! Met up with Bao and Senget and headed interchange at about 4.30pm.
  • First stop was Samsung to get my faulty hp batt replaced as its under warranty.
  • Next, Senget got his earphone for his mp3,Tm for soccer betting. then it was pavilion for pool. Bao left a lil while after Chee joined us. Topic of the day, I WON SENGET on one game. hee hee , don't ever try to deny that its due to fang shui.
  • BK dinner which was rather full. Had lots of crap with Chee around. Headed home then, Senget came over to slack as he doesn't feel like going home.
  • Soccer on was at about 11 plus with Bert, Hock,Ben,Jason,Tong,Paul and Chee. Bg and co joined after a lil while with tension around.
  • Headed for supper at 742 at about 2.30am. Met up with Tet,Alex,Milo and Lawson. Slacked till 3.30am and here i am, blogging.

Hmmm, any thoughts to talk about i shall leave it up till tomorrow. Till then, i shall keep my night.Anyway, its such tiring stuff to hold on or whatsoever. I could not be bothered or i shall put it as both of us could not be bothered. best of luck is what we have for you, and stop all your actions in trying to hold on or what. Sometimes its better to let it go. Good Night!!!

Our life goes on.

ARGHhh ranted @ 3:56 AM :|

Hao Xing Mei Hao Bao
Thursday, April 14, 2005

Yawns. What a lazy day, not feeling to get my arse out.Hmmm, guess pretty much it's the dunnowhat'sthesyndrome acting up since last night.duhz. So irritating right? And now, i'm not feeling to work that part time job since it has been two weeks since the confirmation.What the hell is wrong with the mgmt.Take them such a long time to fix the schedule.If they are not going to contact me by tomorrow,I shall rot till my SIP starts.


It's been such a day home after i went out to return my vcds and got lunch.Chores done and then out for dinner with bro. Hmm, it was then a lil ocha session and met up with Alex,Senget,An,Ben,Chin Meng,Qin Yao, Bg and co. Then it was vcd shop then marrybrown, to finish up my coupons. Hee, shared a meal with Alex and I had the swing seat again!! haha. Got myself a vcd and An,Alex and I headed home first while the rest hang around as to decide what programs to have.


Its such early and boring night. Pretty much it will be tv watching then vcding again. Haiz, what to do. Sometimes it doesn't pay good to be kind. I'm not sure what the hell is wrong with me but it just erks me whenever i lose out.So what if i'm "Ba Dao". Does it in anyway offended you? Hello, this is me and my stuff.Don't you dare set your eyes for it as you will be in for some serious biatchings from me. Do not attempt to take it away from me. I just hope that this very day would not come.Its so ARGH!!! I guess pretty much no one will understand and may have the kinda of impression that i'm such a pain in the neck. Duhz. I could not bother much. I play my own life. I shall fight for what's mine. I won't give up like i used to and neither will I think too much.


Alright, gonna stop for now. Friday's here again with nothing good in store for me except for meeting up with Ryna! Miss you babe!! haha. Just hope that it won't be worse or as bad as last firday.Argh!


Wun some stuff just f**k off?

ARGHhh ranted @ 9:50 PM :|

See No Evil Hear No Evil

Hee. I'm still at Ben's place at this hour, as the dudes of Paul,An,Bg and Ben are stil in the mist of mahjonging.Argh..it takes them that long to play one round of game.


Had a pretty tight day with Tong coming over to my place at about 12 plus and had my home-cooked lunch.hee, yummy right? slacked till almost 4 that Paul met us to head for their bike practical lessons. I accompanied them to CDC,cabbing as usual. Its so crap seeing them in bikes already,with me reading through my basic theory book, hoping that i will pass the 2nd attempt. I'm desperate to pass my btt.argh! Waited for about one and half hour till almost six that kind Daddy came to fetch us home. ANyway, a big CONGRATS to Tong, he passed his first prac! Another step closer to his bike license. Hee. Well as for Paul, i pray best of luck for you tomorrow to take ur practical again. CAn pass de la! Good Luck.


After sending those dudes home, as it was still raining. Headed for dinner with Mum and Dad. Got home and slacked a lil while and headed for airport,which i wll be starting work like next week.Hope i do adapt to it and ermm ya just pray hard. There were lots of people there this day and it was damn noisy lo. Accompanied Senget for popeyes' dinner while Paul and I shared another meal.I guess its puttin on weight period for me now.ARGH! Dai dee as usual till almost 11.30pm that we got our arse back to tamp.


As we were about to unlock our bikes and i realised that my lock have been pried open.That the lock had a split and i can't unlock and that my bike got stucK!!! DAmn that whoever fucker who try to steal my bike. My bike ain't that easy for you suckers to steal it.Hence, i had to call the police and i can't believe it that it's my first time dialing 999.hee hee. That bloody police is damn long and inefficient to get their arse down just to cut the lock. HEy, Police take pay and do nothing ar? Then what for our parents pay income tax? S'pore police look down on teenagers is it? ARgh! ANyway, all thanks to Tong. He was the one who pull out the whole lock just a breeze. POWER right? haha. Thanks dude!


Headed for Ben's place as Tong and Senget headed home as both of them have school tomorrow.
Now, i'm praying hard they are playing at a faster pace as i want to get home for my bath and sleep!! Shall clear my chores tomorrow. =)


I guess now i'm in a situation in not seeing Evil and Hearing Evil. ARgh, i could not care further!! Anyway, i just hate the sight of that damn thing.Irritating pest!! I guess it would be even worse when it comes next week.


Never like to be the same.

ARGHhh ranted @ 2:13 AM :|

Moving on
Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Hee, new skin with colours all over. Wow,its something new and colourful,which i hope it would be as my colourful world. Comments people?

Alright, had a pretty tough day though i did not do anything much.its pure rotting home other than the afternoon spent with some of the rwds. Hmm, Paul called to meet me for his haircut at about 3 and just then Tong called. Hence, went to meet up with Tong and An as they were heading for the betting centre.while waiting for Paul, the rest of us headed for vcd shop again. Its been these days that An and Tong are crazy over old school movies.ha.Then, all of us headed for a lil Ocha session that we bump into Senget. Soon, all of us went our seperate ways with Senget goin for his haircut,Paul back for band,An,Bg and Bh for dick's place while Tong and I headed home.


Hmm, did not really have the mood to hang out today. Probably its those words i've heard here and there.Hmm, there's no one to blame.Its me having those emo and pms stuff again.Thanks for hearing me out my bestest bud. =) I'm sorry too, being too pms and emo these days which i'm not sure what's wrong with me. Please bare with me as i will get over it soon.


Felt good after i've talked things out. I'm much relieved. Yet,i'm still heavily dependent. There should be a way out being to learn on how to be independent.If there's a will, there's a way.I've learnt to be satisfied to be happy.Now, i will have to learn on how to handle the certain matters,my piority to care on which issue.I will have to boost my self-confidence in order to walk out of this shadow. Bless me people!


alright, shall stop here as i will have a day to go. Most probably getting my arse down to CDC as there are a couple of dudes getting their whatever things done.Hee, pray hard that my day shall be a good one, with ermm no interference. Hmm, those who got what i mean pray ya?


Good night world!

ARGHhh ranted @ 1:20 AM :|

Tuesday, April 12, 2005


last but not least, some natural shots by i'm not aware of whom. it seems like Ms Yan is extorting money from Mr Tong and Mr James seems happy about it. Ha, holy crap.
:: Yan ::

ARGHhh ranted @ 4:55 AM :|


alright, finally something know as a nicely taken pic.
:: Yan ::

ARGHhh ranted @ 4:53 AM :|


another shot and that i'm the only idiot who is posing like nuts outside taka. duhz.
:: Yan ::

ARGHhh ranted @ 4:53 AM :|


okay, its better this way. but i'm not ready for my shot! another one.
:: Yan ::

ARGHhh ranted @ 4:52 AM :|


hey! its suppose to be my face on this pic and not Tong. thanks to Mr An whom i suppose to have lousy photography skills.
:: Yan ::

ARGHhh ranted @ 4:52 AM :|


rwd.28.26.06. what's that at the back? OLD CHANG ...what?
:: Yan ::

ARGHhh ranted @ 4:51 AM :|


some kind of lady abused. yet, i'm still stong-willed.
:: Yan ::

ARGHhh ranted @ 4:48 AM :|

Counting down

Alright, it would be less than a week that my part time job shall begin. I guess pretty much i will be working for maximum of 4 weeks as my SIP would begin on the 24th May. Hee, killing some holidays as well as earning myself some extra pocket money to spend as well as save up for my driving lessons. =) I guess it would be a long way to go.


Hmm,another pretty slack day has gone, leaving me with 5 days of pure slacking days to enjoy. Meet up with Alex and Huiyun for some makan and chitchat session at Ya Kun first, then it was at Pastamania. It's been quite some time catching up with the both of them. It was nice spending my nothingtodo afternoon with these two peeps.Tet joined us too after his sleep. Anyway, my hp died flat on me the moment i was on the bus and had multiple calls and msgs from different parties.I suppose that my hp died at the wrong time. met up with Bao and her friends,Jesslyn and Chew Hong.After her friends left, it was us slacking at Mac chatting on certain issues. I meant some 'bad' topics. felt a lil guilty about it. =

All of us headed our ways at about 6 plus and i got home to change and meet up with An and Tong. I'm suppose to return my vcds which were like overdue for days. The 3 of us had nothing to do and so i was suggesting to have dinner at Marrybrown,since its still on promotion. An and I headed for dinner while Tong went to get something done.Finally i've the chance to sit at the 'special swing seat' at Marrybrown.hee, its 38 to talk about it but its something really special. Being able to swing while you eat, cool? After dinner, it was back to the vcd shop to get some vcds to kill time at my place before the guys head down for soccer at 10pm. Tong headed home to get his stuff done first while An headed for my place with Bert and Ben joining us later.


It was soccer time and i tag along with them till about 12 plus and got myself 7-11. Tong and I were heading for 7-11 and i realise that i've misplaced my pouch with my money and cards inside.Oh shit! Headed back to bball court to check if i've dropped it there or else..i would be dead.Luckily, it was left at the bench at bball court and got it back.Chill a lil at 7-11 and got home at about 1 plus. =)


Its been 2 weeks since my hols started.Certain stuff have changed for the good, some for the worse. I'm not certain of what am i suppose to handle with my good friends or even my best friends.

Bao, thanks babe for letting me know i will still have you on the other side of this small lil island. It will be in my heart for as long as you know i'm still with you mentally,though not physically.Ya, its true we've been through so much, from friends to enemies, from enemies to friends and now best friends.Its true we will have the downs but always remember we will have moments that we enjoyed. though we may be a distant apart, i never forget all the things you have done for me, those sacrifices you've made and those words you've always reminded me of. We maybe that kind of best friends who do not need much of contact,but we will always know each other is there for them. Right? You know my love for this frienship, i shall cherish it. Million of thanks for being here for me. Hugs and Kisses!

Tong, i'm not sure if you bother to read my posts, that i hope you do read this post. I know we have been through quite abit of bumpy issues along or way of this friendship. From a kiddy friend i knew since my sec school days,my good classmate who would always tease and disturb me during Chinese lessons,till now i've became a part of rwd and best buddies ever. Its amazing to see how this friendship have grown,how well we've known each other.I'm not sure if you have this feeling and bond in you but i will always let you know that i will be ur best of the best friend. though at times i may feel irritated by your attitude, the way you've taken me as for granted.hee hee. But still, i'm always here till the end of the road. I do hope that i won't be replaced, and there shall be no boundaries and interferes of others to this friendship. I'm not your spare tyre, am I? Anyway, I'm being honest as that i would not like to share this bestest friend with anyone else.hahaha, except for of cause his beloved to be which would be a totally different level of issue. I know i'm irritating la, too bad dude, you're my bestest and papa for life.

Paul, its been certain stuff that we've been through in rwd. I guess its some stuff we may share while others might have different views about it.Its been tough handling so much in this i know.Still, I do hope it would be over and let it past to move on better.No matter what, you are still a very good friend of mine whom never fails to show care and concern. I do appreciate your presense every now and then. Actions speaks louder than words.Yeap, its true. I can't be fair to all my friends but i do hope i try my best. Thanks for anything and everything you've done. It makes a difference. Move on my friend. I hope we do not lose each other the way it should be.If there's always a problem,i'm willing to hear it out.Still, i hope that everything is fine. Everything is so unrpredictable, so tresure everyone you have with you now or never. People do care. =
Okay, its been one shot that i've post such a long-winded/mushy/true words in my months to come.probably its the time that i have to express certain thoughts and feelings of mine to these friends which have recently caught my attention. I ain't a genius in handling all my friendships and i may be unfair to certain people in my life.If i am, I'm sorry. I can't be fair for all but i do care for each and every friend who marks a difference in my life. One that goes without saying, I love my bestest as well as my best of all. My 38s too! Hugs and Kisses!!


Its been a cold and long night that i shall get some sleep soon and be it a sunshine day to come.

ARGHhh ranted @ 2:57 AM :|

Its been such a long long time....
Monday, April 11, 2005

What a sunday. Got up at almost 12.30 when i received a call from An, wanting me to get up as himself and Mond is getting bored and wanted to come over to my place to slack.geez, got up and had 'breakfast' of chwee kway,my all time favourite breakfast when i was a lil kid.Missed the chwee kway so much since i last tasted.


Tong,Mond and An came over at about 1 plus and we were watching Twins' vcd.I guess its the Twins fever now.Senget joined us soon.My lil fatty bro insist on ordering that pelican pizza as he have that crave for it. All of us had pizza with the treat from Mummy. That's nice. =) Finally, it was almost 3.15 when we were all set to meet up the rest of the bunch for Ben's birthday celebration. It's like the kind of outing/gathering. Hence, we decided to head for town,not knowing what will be the activities.


Reached town at about 4.30 and had that early dinner of KFC.Chilled out abit and we were undecisive on what to do in town.Its either a vote for pool or a movie. Geez, we had a hard time outside taka and we finally came to a decision that we will go ahead with movie. All thanks to our newly appointed 'tour guide', Mr An.duhz. headed for Shaw and decided the movie on Samara which will not be my first choice of movie as i really wanted to watch The Pacifier. Hanged out a lil while at far east as Senget wanted to have a look at his sweater. Thereafter we had our movie at 7.25pm.The theater is huge, with comfortable seats. Anyway the movie was such a time-wasting or rather money wasting. Giving it a 1 out of 5 rating. Worse horror movie i ever watched that got me into lala land.


Headed back to tamp at about 10pm and the guys were in for some soccer action till wee hours as usual. Finally,i've got home at about 12 plus.Its been such a time since we rwd, had been to town for movie and hang out.hee hee, i guess its been like the first time? haha. Those dudes are not really use to hanging out at places like town.its been nice day.


It would be wonderland if my days will be like this, without some presense of those stuff i'd never like, and felt threatened about it.How i wished i would just shoo away. I'm not fearing of defeating,i'm fear of losing the things in my life. How could i not feel threatened.Its like someone attempting to steal away what is mine.Though i maybe ego to think so, but to me, at least its something dear to me which its mine. I'm fighting back. I'm would now bow to you.NEVER.


Hee, its been such PMS days for me this weekend. I hope i do not make anyone pissed by my attitude and everything.I'm too emo these days, feeling kinda of useless and inferior about myself.Lost the sense of worthiness and confidence in me, all thanks to someone and some stuff that happened. DON'T EVEN FEEL LIKE TALKING ABOUT IT,its just a waste of my breath. Its such a sorry state as you've never stepped across my line, but its just that you've are trying to get something from my life.So back off as i will fight on. Got that?


Okay,enough of my grudges. I will now get my arse into more vcds.Work will start next week which is like dunnoifitsablessingorcurse.More income meant more problems? Let's see.


To a better tomorrow.....

ARGHhh ranted @ 1:23 AM :|

Short-circuited
Sunday, April 10, 2005

Well, its been such a emotion ride for me once again. Duhz, i meant what's new right? Anyway, i'm always full of nonsense and shit that anyone could ever handle it, even my parents can't stand me. =\


Refreshed.Its been such a sucky friday i've ever had so far which is pretty bored. slacked home the entire afternoon till almost seven that i got my arse out of the house to meet Tong and accompany this dude for work at the airport. Long story indeed but Senget and An joined us soon.Senget had his popeye dinner and we were playing dai dee most of the time. Headed back to tamp at about 11.30pm and got home at about twelve plus.Geez, I simply din have the mood to talk about the journey. In some ways its funny and mean of me to feel that way but its just my feeling. Was thinking of spending the whole night by myself,ALONE. Yet, headed out again to Ben's place with Tong after being bugged. Paul,Ben and An were there for mahjong.Slacked till that dude fell asleep and got home at only 5.30am. Got a call from Mum as usual and was badly ticked off. ARGH! Spare me please everyone!!!


It was such a torture being through this kind of friday.Damn. Why does it have to spoil my friday night. Why can't that damn thing just stay away from me and my life, which is like almost impossible? Fine, but at least stop being that whateverimayseeitas to me. Spare me please,i hate playing mind games.


Got up as early as 11.30 when Tong called for makan.ARGH!! Went back to bed till almost an hour later that i got another call from this dude, saying about meeting for makan and vcd shop. Hence, got up and meet Tong and Senget for makan, my hair trim at Fusion,vcds then it was my place for slacking till almost 9pm.An joined us soon and finished watching those vcds we rented such First Daughter and some chinese shows.Hee. Then it was off to Chin Meng's place for soccer watching with Mond,Peg and Sharon joining us. Watched another chinese old school vcd,"Bao Gao Ban Zhang" and a lil of man utd's soccer. Headed home at about 2.30am and here i am with Peg, watching vcd AGAIN. Geez, i'm suffering from Vcd-watching disease. duhz.


Hmm, its my xiong di,BENJAMIN LIM's 19th Birthday!! Happy Birthday dude!!! Hee, it would be probably another rwd outing,celebrating this dude's birthday. Bless me a better day!! Amen.


Get out of my sight.

ARGHhh ranted @ 3:03 AM :|

EmotionLESS
Friday, April 08, 2005

Another day gone. I meant i'm wasting my holidays just like this.Hmm, hope work could start soon as this would meant income.How i wish i could have that kind of splurging habits again as i would have my own income, instead of saving from daily allowance.Hee. Work starts,fun would end. Hmm,i shall think of a way to multitask,to play and work at the same time.


I was home all day long watching vcds.Hee,repeating those old school chinese vcd collection of mine. Still love those movies by Nic Tse and Stephen Fung. =) Dinner was at food court near my place with Mum and Bro. Ate my fav fish chips rice as well as waffle ice-cream shared with Bro. I understand why the both of us grew into this size, esp my Bro,in that short span of time.Hee. Mum and Dad headed of to somewhere else for dinner as Mum was waiting for Dad. Got myself to the vcd shop for more vcds. Hee. Gonna watch them all tonight. Met those dudes as they were having soccer and as usual police arrived within ten mins of play. Game resumes after their patrol around the park. Headed home earlier with Tong and we were talking about bike practical.HEe, better luck next time ya? I believe that both of you can make it de la.No worries! I'm waiting to give my first bike riding to any one who got their license first.HEee. =) Be honoured ok, as i have never been on a bike for my entire 18 yrs of life.


Weekend is here. Probably a movie or a game of pool.I don't wanna stay home for Friday!! hee.Just wanna have that last bit of fun which does not contain any work or school stress.Just like partying without any consequences. I'm born a slacker and a lazybum as well.


Its been emotionless days this week.Hee i'm now all alone and been more independent. Well, i know i'm still dependent to my bestest and peeps.Besides that,I'm a independent woman in rwd.All of us will lead different lives but in the name of rowdees. For now, this is the matter of fact. New way of life,a new start and a new me. =)


Oh ya, to those bestest and peeps reading, I love all loads! Not forgetting to mention Ryna,Jessica,Ling!! You girls rock my world!! Big Hugs and Kisses!! Thanks to everyone for anything that goes. The footprints will be in my heart.Hee.


Alright, I shall stop and get on with my vcd watching.Oh ya, Senget please do take care of yourself. Go get a doctor ya? Get well fast!!


Chill out.

ARGHhh ranted @ 1:54 AM :|

Fresh Chapter
Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Well, it seems that blogger is suffering form some kind of problem. I can't post the previous 2 posts.Argh! Alright a lil update for the past 2 days.

Tuesday.

Received a call from Tong as he was feeling sick and hence I accompanied him to the doctor. It looked a lil serious after puking for almost a dozen times.Geez, the doctor didn't knew what was wrong as it does not seem like a food poisoning nor stomach flu. Tong got back for a lil rest and I got myself a haircut,or rather a trim. Headed back to meet up with him and headed for my place as to kill some time waiting for Paul to head for the chalet.Senget joined us soon. Tong was rather sick that he was sleeping most of the time and had to to take care of this sicko.

met up with Paul at almost 7 after his band stuff.the four of us headed for the chalet in cab again.Slacked and makan was all I did and a mahjong session with Tong losing big bucks. I was winning initially but I drew the game at the end. it was rather boring with not much activities going on. Hence, i was chatting with Qian Yu till wee hours as the guys,Paul and Tong slept early as they are having their first bike practical. Barely slept for 4 hours and got up about 8 and headed home soon.


Wednesday.

Got home at about 10 and slept till 3pm and headed off to meet my longtimenosee Ryna!! Hee, we headed for makan at pastamania and before that Amanda joined us.Jalan jalan for a lil while and got home in cab again.Geez, i'm having bad cabbing habits!! Now here i am home for the entire night finishing my vcd. Just came back after meeting up Tong to pass him my vcd which i have yet to watch! Geez, this dude is always.... *&@!$* hee, what to do, my bestest of all. =)

Work shall start sometime next week....

It would then probably be a fresh chapter or phase of life.Hmm, there are certain things in life i have no control over and bound to lose. So, I would rather stay this way, not to think too much and i hope the sunshine in me will shine soon.

Been through emotions here and there after hearing certain comments that people have made. can't help to feel a lil sad which i do not wish it to be this way either. I do not wish to care any stuff any further as i would want my own way of life. As i have said, no matter what have happen or been done,nothing would help to solve,so just let it be. I need no sympathy or what so ever.I'm still living fine, living in the sunshine.


There will be ways for me to get over and get on.Hmm,what about getting myself a part-time job which i have been like rotting for ages since working almost donkey years ago.Then, my SIp at Valuair shall begin and that would be another change in my life.A change away from my peeps as i will be working like 5 days a week. I will miss people. I wll miss the fun.


If by walking out is what you've chosen, do not turn back and want me. I do not need it anymore.I have better ones. Be it me being selfish to mention about my emotions but i'm only being honest to myself. Thanks.


"Ni Shou Bu Rang Ren He Ren Gei Wo Mah Fan, Dan Wo Zui Da De Mah Fan Shi NI."
Quoted from taiwan serial, Mr Fighting by 5566. An emo quote indeed.


Hope things shall turn out well when work starts. No more troubles please. Anyway, results would be out in less than 3 days.It will be the moment of truth on Sat. Bless me now people!!! Hmm,nonono, it should be GOD and people!!


Emo emo emo me.

ARGHhh ranted @ 9:44 PM :|

What the HELL!!
Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Blogspot seems to have problem!! Okay fine, shall post another new one.

Finally got myself a part time barista job at a cafe at the Airport. I will be working with Senget and Keong as we headed down for an interview which turned out to be anotsolikedinterview with the manager that i din really like. Hope my short working days would not turned out to be a disaster. Hee, it will only be a short time at the cafe as my SIP will be commencing in May. Say hi to Valuair then!!


Met Tong at the airport too and headed down to Sim Lim Towers as this dude need to get his circuit board. Haiz, initially wanted to wait for him yet people turned me town. Whatever lo. always my fault. The five of us flagged down a discounted maxi cab at 25 bucks which was initially at 35 bucks.It was kind of that uncle as he knew we are students. After Sim Lim was makan at bugis street with western food. Hanged out a lil while and headed to Peninsula for a walk.It was fair bit of laughter as Senget was imitating Russell Peters,a comedian with his show. It was kind of lame and retarded but entertaining. Got back in trian as Keong and Fel dropped off at Tamp, while Tong,Senget and I headed for Pasir Ris.


We were heading for Kuku and Co's chalet.Got there at about 10, had a fair bit of food and dai dee and it was pillow fight as usual. This time round I lost as it was 3 against 1.Tong,Senget and a lil of Hock! What the hell!! Three guys fighting with a girl. I was even locked out at the balcony with simply no one to help me.Thank god there's Albert who was so kind to open that door for me.Hahaa. Had a lil rest after the fight and headed home with Tong,Senget and Wei Sian. Guess we will head back for the chalet tomorrow night,depending on situation.


Had a pretty tight emotion in me but do not wish to talk about it as i find it simply useless talking about. I'm sad but who the hell cares? Maybe its time to lose each one bit by bit.Whose next I'm losing? I hope its not you. For now, do not try to do anything cause I do not need any of those. Get out of my sight and life and don't get in again!I will go on.


Good Night everyone.

ARGHhh ranted @ 1:22 AM :|

C H I N A B L A C K
Sunday, April 03, 2005

Woohoo. It was a superb night out. Wherever to? Chinablack. Hee hee it was the first time I have ever been to this club with my fellow rwds peeps. We were there to celebrate Tet's 19th birthday and it was a memorable one though. Rwds clubbing, its such a rare case.


The guys namely Paul and Tong with Sharon came over to my place after getting their helmets for their bike practical on Wednesday. Slacked till almost 5 when Mond came. Ordered pizza,ate pizza and it was time to get dressed for party. Met up with Senget,An and James at about 6 plus and met the rest at inter. People such as Tet,Justin,Kian Heng,Lawson and his babe. Headed for town and got there as early as 8.30 and there were no queue at all.Hee, all of us got in at about 9.30 where the club was real empty. The night's still young with a couple of drinks going on till it was about midnight that the party got on.


The music was ok, Zouk's better.It was a mixture of trance,R&B and Hip hop. Qian Yu,Alex and tet's bro joined us at the club. Headed down fo rthe dancefloor and got ourselves crazy!! Hee, those guys were once in a lifetime dancing at the dancing floor. It's fun, fun and fun! Something we have never done as yet.3 cheers dudes! Oh ya, there were a couple of drinking that made us twirl.Tet was drunk as usual,Tong was almost there. Headed home at about 3.30 and headed for supper. My head was spinning after getting on the cab and felt like puking. Hmm,yet i controlled all the way till i got home. What's more that i could not be bothered, got to bed as soon as i could.


It was almost 3 when i got up this afternoon,and was damn lucky not having any hangover.Phew. Met up Tong for his hair cut again when An,James,Mond,Khia Seng and Chin Meng is heading for interchange. Got home after the hair cut and met up with those dudes and it was dinner with family. I'm now home waiting to be out. Or i will just stay home to watch my vcd.Hee. What a weekend it has been for me!! Had a great time out at black, with more to come at Zouk on the 13th April. Hee. Woohoo!!


Clubbing fever me.

ARGHhh ranted @ 8:59 PM :|

H A I Z zzz
Friday, April 01, 2005

There are much thinkings running in me right now. Its like digesting all bits of words that i have heard.Running through my mind all around. I can't imagine myself five months from now.Simply unthinkable.


I should not be even posting this post at all, giving away all my emotions. Probably its been such wishful thinking, having the thought that i was always the one who was there for my friends. Hmm, it turn out to be a negative thought. A thought that puts me into dilema, not knowing how to express my feelings.I kept to myself but the feeling of being locked inside is simply unbearable.Argh!! How will anyone understand. With the fact that i am losing my bestest friend anytime, to another friend of his.Being the fact that i might be the only one left with no partner after seeing couples and couples. I sounded as if I'm left with no one in the end. Maybe this day will be here soon. The day i never ever wished for.


I'm such a selfish idiot. All i'm ever gonna think will be myself. to think of being loved by my friends,family and whoever. Who in the world can stand loneliness? No one i suppose. Everyone needs the someone to hold on,hang on and lean on. Since i do not own anyone, i depend that much on friends. My bestest friends. For now, they are the ones i have. But, it just seems i am losing it without me knowing it. I tried to be satisfied with what i have now, i do. Yet, when i'm satisfied, there will be certain things being taken away. WHY??


I have to livestrong and carry on. Bringing all those tears in my heart, letting it out silently with no one knowing. No one needs my presense anyway. No one cares anyway. I'm alone from now.


I'm myself with no one else.

ARGHhh ranted @ 1:38 AM :|