... Y A N ...

Photobucket
`23.
`EGG.
`Virgo.
`Attitude.
`Pms Queen.
`Sensitive.
`38-ness.
`Irritating.

... LOVEs ...

` twentysix.
` POOH.
` YEOWs.
` JIE MEIs.
` RWDs.
` MONEY.

... desires ...

`Hong Kong Trip 2007.
`Sarah Jessica Parker "Lovely" Fragrance.
`2nd pair of Havianas flip flops.
`tons of flats/sandals/pumps.
`Bags Bags Bags!
`LV coin pouch AGAIN.
`E71 mobile phone.
`Coach Wristlet.
`Birthday BKK Trip 09!
`Phuket Trip
`Hong Kong Trip 2010
`GRADUATION!!!
`Adidas Candy Watch.
`Bangkok Trip 08/09

... inspirations ...

`SIEW XIN CHEE.
`
LOOPO.
`
SENGET SIEW XINYI.
`
QASHaron.
`ONG AH BAO.
`
TEACHER PEGGIE.
`
SUET JING.
`
JANICE.
`
AMY.
`
Chanz
`
Denise
`Candice
`
Yiling
`
Drea
`
Karin
` Tannia
` Zi Ting
` Hui Yun
` Jeslyn
` Joyce
` Pearlyn
` Nurina
` Adelene
` Terence
` Vincent
` Annie
` Rashidah
` Rose

... her doings ...

> self-doubt....
> Let it go, girl!
> 柠檬草的味道
> time flies....
> 开始懂了
> STUCKED!
> Unspoken Missessss....
> life is so random.
> I Should Be So Lucky on 14 Dec 2008.
> HERE WE GO!

... memory lane ...

> 07/01/2004 - 08/01/2004
> 08/01/2004 - 09/01/2004
> 09/01/2004 - 10/01/2004
> 10/01/2004 - 11/01/2004
> 11/01/2004 - 12/01/2004
> 12/01/2004 - 01/01/2005
> 01/01/2005 - 02/01/2005
> 02/01/2005 - 03/01/2005
> 03/01/2005 - 04/01/2005
> 04/01/2005 - 05/01/2005
> 05/01/2005 - 06/01/2005
> 06/01/2005 - 07/01/2005
> 07/01/2005 - 08/01/2005
> 08/01/2005 - 09/01/2005
> 09/01/2005 - 10/01/2005
> 10/01/2005 - 11/01/2005
> 11/01/2005 - 12/01/2005
> 12/01/2005 - 01/01/2006
> 01/01/2006 - 02/01/2006
> 02/01/2006 - 03/01/2006
> 03/01/2006 - 04/01/2006
> 04/01/2006 - 05/01/2006
> 05/01/2006 - 06/01/2006
> 06/01/2006 - 07/01/2006
> 07/01/2006 - 08/01/2006
> 08/01/2006 - 09/01/2006
> 09/01/2006 - 10/01/2006
> 10/01/2006 - 11/01/2006
> 11/01/2006 - 12/01/2006
> 12/01/2006 - 01/01/2007
> 01/01/2007 - 02/01/2007
> 02/01/2007 - 03/01/2007
> 03/01/2007 - 04/01/2007
> 04/01/2007 - 05/01/2007
> 05/01/2007 - 06/01/2007
> 06/01/2007 - 07/01/2007
> 07/01/2007 - 08/01/2007
> 08/01/2007 - 09/01/2007
> 09/01/2007 - 10/01/2007
> 10/01/2007 - 11/01/2007
> 11/01/2007 - 12/01/2007
> 12/01/2007 - 01/01/2008
> 01/01/2008 - 02/01/2008
> 02/01/2008 - 03/01/2008
> 03/01/2008 - 04/01/2008
> 04/01/2008 - 05/01/2008
> 05/01/2008 - 06/01/2008
> 06/01/2008 - 07/01/2008
> 07/01/2008 - 08/01/2008
> 08/01/2008 - 09/01/2008
> 09/01/2008 - 10/01/2008
> 10/01/2008 - 11/01/2008
> 12/01/2008 - 01/01/2009
> 02/01/2009 - 03/01/2009
> 05/01/2009 - 06/01/2009
> 06/01/2009 - 07/01/2009
> 07/01/2009 - 08/01/2009

...SHOUT ALL YOU WANT ...


... BIG Thanks To ...

` YOU.
` PEOPLE whom woke me up.
` SUAY-NESS that hit me hard.

Goals of the Week....
Sunday, October 31, 2004

Well well well...been missing in action for a couple of days.Not knowing of what's more to update about.Its been quite a busy weekend for me indeed.*better than nth to do*I will cut the long story short..here goes:

Friday: 29th Oct04
1. Accompanied the guys,Tong,Senget,Qin Yao and Ben to book the Nov babies chalet.
2.Wasted trip due to some reasons. Needed membership to be untitled to the promotion package.
3.Headed back to 827 for dinner with Tong,Ben and Qin yao. Senget went to meet his friends to Geylang.* its not what u think...*haha.
4.Ben's house for lil mahjong session.Various kakis joined us..An,Paul,Bg and Co.
5.Won 9 bucks in total *thx to partnership with An*
6.Headed home at around 1 after some slacking time with Jason,An and Tong together with lil jasper.

Saturday : 30th October 04
1.Woke up late at about 1pm and finished mopping the floor.
2.Received a call to meet up with Tong,Jason and An.Mission: Jasper needs the vet. *ke lian..*He's been puking..
3.Headed to Jalan Kayu at about 3.Arrived at the vet and hanged around with other doggies too.There were real big ones and lil cute ones.Jasper was excited though.
4.After the vet session,we went for Jalan Kayu's famous prata and indian rojak for dinner. *yummy..* Headed for Jason's place to clean up jasper and slacked till 7.30pm that we headed home for a change to head for soccer watching at Chin meng's place.
5.Slacked till 10 when the match started.Man utd's disappointed match.What's going on??
6. 12 midnight.Time for their soccer session.Played all the way till 3am and got home around that time.

Sunday:31st Oct 04
1.Woke up real late at 1.30pm.Went online to book the nov babies chalet.Date set:1st dec to 4th Dec.Hope it will turn out fun and well.
2.Slacked till Mum asked us out to Suntec.It was good though.Shopping at Carrefour.Got some stuff.Carrefour totally changed.It was much refreshing now.
3.Went to "Kai Xin Wu",my fav dining place at Suntec when i used to work at Carrefour. Each of us ordered a different dish and had an appetizing dinner. =)
4. Headed home after some ice cream time at around six.So here i am....blogging.

Hmm...still wonder if there are programs.The night still young though.Well, i have to head down to Lavendar's ICA for my renewal of passport.I guess my family will be heading for KL prpbably within the next three weeks for a short holiday.Better act fast to get my passport done.I wanna shopping at KL!!Goals of The week: Renewal of passport,Registration of my basic theory,Clubbing. I have been dragging my date for basic theory too long.Its time for some action now.*lazy me...* Oh ya, I have decided to head down for Zouk this ladies night with Ryna.Hoping Tracy,Da Jie and Ryl will join us at Zouk after Black.

Been eyeing handphones. 7270.Yet to be in the market.6230 will be another wise option.Still praying for Cartel to call me or the job.Hope what Candice told me is true..hoping that the next week schedule has my name in it. *prays...*

Alright..nothing much to blog now..will leave it till next post.Anyway, i had a lil fun this weekend.at least its a lil. =) I do hope i can pull through these darkest days.Missed my jie meis...

Yan *despo in need of money...*

ARGHhh ranted @ 6:28 PM :|

100% Boredom
Thursday, October 28, 2004

Its been such a boring day.Its so lifeless and meaningless each day. 100% boredom to the max! Hmm..pretty much nothing to blog about these kind of boring days.I would have to get my passport renew sometime next week.Hoping i could get myself accompany all the way to Lavendar.Its such a pain to find people these days. =(

Its so bored that i do not have a clue of what to blog about.Basically i have spent the whole afternoon rotting home,clearing chores.Met up with Paul to have his haircut and bumped into Keong and Felky.Then it was about time to head home for Singapore Idols and The Champion. Hmm..i guess Tv shows are left to accompany through these days.I am gloomy,unhappy and unsatisfied about my life.Its dreadful.No one understands. Tong and Senget came over and soon after the Champions, we headed down for central park for soccer.But,they have not even touch the ball when the police came by.This explains my early arrival home.Had some fun playing around at the pineapple with the ball coming my direction.

I am bored!! Anyone for entertainments?I am unhappy.Anyone for a laugh? Oh gosh.This sucks.Its the MAX!!This bomb in me is going to fire and explode soon.Anytime.How i wish school's here. I missed the days.Esp the days at biz park,having kopi with my fellas.At least i have something to do,occupied with my life.Look at me now, I am just a piece of rotting flesh. I hate my life!! =(

Anyway,praying and hoping lots of luck for Mond's A'levels and Bert's O levels. The O's and A's here....*pots of luck!!* It will be Mrs Lee's last day at Jyss as our principal.*wasted...*

I am out of plans again for my weekend...urgent calls for me go out ya?

Yan* pms' here again....*

ARGHhh ranted @ 11:52 PM :|

100% Boredom

Its been such a boring day.Its so lifeless and meaningless each day. 100% boredom to the max! Hmm..pretty much nothing to blog about these kind of boring days.I would have to get my passport renew sometime next week.Hoping i could get myself accompany all the way to Lavendar.Its such a pain to find people these days. =(

Its so bored that i do not have a clue of what to blog about.Basically i have spent the whole afternoon rotting home,clearing chores.Met up with Paul to have his haircut and bumped into Keong and Felky.Then it was about time to head home for Singapore Idols and The Champion. Hmm..i guess Tv shows are left to accompany through these days.I am gloomy,unhappy and unsatisfied about my life.Its dreadful.No one understands. Tong and Senget came over and soon after the Champions, we headed down for central park for soccer.But,they have not even touch the ball when the police came by.This explains my early arrival home.Had some fun playing around at the pineapple with the ball coming my direction.

I am bored!! Anyone for entertainments?I am unhappy.Anyone for a laugh? Oh gosh.This sucks.Its the MAX!!This bomb in me is going to fire and explode soon.Anytime.How i wish school's here. I missed the days.Esp the days at biz park,having kopi with my fellas.At least i have something to do,occupied with my life.Look at me now, I am just a piece of rotting flesh. I hate my life!! =(

Anyway,praying and hoping lots of luck for Mond's A'levels and Bert's O levels. The O's and A's here....*pots of luck!!* It will be Mrs Lee's last day at Jyss as our principal.*wasted...*

I am out of plans again for my weekend...urgent calls for me go out ya?

Yan* pms' here again....*

ARGHhh ranted @ 11:52 PM :|

100% Boredom

Its been such a boring day.Its so lifeless and meaningless each day. 100% boredom to the max! Hmm..pretty much nothing to blog about these kind of boring days.I would have to get my passport renew sometime next week.Hoping i could get myself accompany all the way to Lavendar.Its such a pain to find people these days. =(

Its so bored that i do not have a clue of what to blog about.Basically i have spent the whole afternoon rotting home,clearing chores.Met up with Paul to have his haircut and bumped into Keong and Felky.Then it was about time to head home for Singapore Idols and The Champion. Hmm..i guess Tv shows are left to accompany through these days.I am gloomy,unhappy and unsatisfied about my life.Its dreadful.No one understands. Tong and Senget came over and soon after the Champions, we headed down for central park for soccer.But,they have not even touch the ball when the police came by.This explains my early arrival home.Had some fun playing around at the pineapple with the ball coming my direction.

I am bored!! Anyone for entertainments?I am unhappy.Anyone for a laugh? Oh gosh.This sucks.Its the MAX!!This bomb in me is going to fire and explode soon.Anytime.How i wish school's here. I missed the days.Esp the days at biz park,having kopi with my fellas.At least i have something to do,occupied with my life.Look at me now, I am just a piece of rotting flesh. I hate my life!! =(

Anyway,praying and hoping lots of luck for Mond's A'levels and Bert's O levels. The O's and A's here....*pots of luck!!* It will be Mrs Lee's last day at Jyss as our principal.*wasted...*

I am out of plans again for my weekend...urgent calls for me go out ya?

Yan* pms' here again....*

ARGHhh ranted @ 11:52 PM :|

LEAVE ME ALONE!!!

Today totally sucks to the max.Never such a bad day since forever.Nothing goes well.SIMPLY NOTHING!! why? there goes....

1.Not being able to meet up with Bao as was planned.
2.Being feeling ignored my my own close friend. *sucks to the max*
3.Last minute back out from clubbing due to some reasons.* waiting in the rain,suffering from glares of "ah beis".*

The 3 reasons mentioned above are all it takes to my day go really really bad. I am pissed.Sad.Disappointed.All these sucks!! I know i can't blame anyone else for it,I am not feeling good. With some disappoinments from my close ones,how should i react and feel? Who understands? Who will help? NO one.

I am damn frustrated with my present life.I knew there should be changes.Serious changes to make myself happy and good again.I am suffering from serious depressions. Its so dark living in my life.Why do people envy the way i am. Where's the happy-go-lucky me? Its so far away,gone.Sometimes i really wonder have i took things all too seriously.Friends especially.

I expect alot from my good friends,those close ones around me. I am always having the thinking and attitude that would meant too much for em. Whenever i am in need of em, i expect them to be there for me. If they were not there,i would feel neglected,disappointed and sad.Then tragedy would come after that.=( I never want me to be this way but i guess it lives with me and i took them too seriously.I am selfish.A super one.Maybe its time for me to think it over after so many things that have happened.Life have not been smooth for me these few weeks.Sometimes i wished i have been brain-washed.I hate my own attitude.Its so bad.

I am taking time off from rwd.I have lots to think over.I am suffering from huge loads amount of peer pressure.No one is here. Not even a single soul from rwd.I guess this is known as life.Each one has their own and i can't expect anything from em.This gap is such a distant one.Everyone misunderstands my situation and no one is willing to listen.What's all these shit? Are friends suppose to react this way? At times i don't get it. Its all my fault.No one else.Maybe i have too much time to spare having all these shit. I ain't happy with my life now. Leave me alone. For a moment.Everyone please.Go have fun without me.Go,go ,go!

P/s: I really do have a last wish. I am hoping that i am not a "replaceable" friend in most of you. I can't accept that kind of fact.

I no longer know if I knew my close ones.I got blur.I wonder if i ever still love em.Maybe everything just ain't worth my effort pulling all these friendships together.I am just like a fool.
I am a pampered girl.I admit. This nature is killing me.I don't feel anything from em.Its sad to say that they are gone........* i should be at zouk now!!*

LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!! I am suffering from serious PMS!!


Yan *everthing is fading...the dark gets darker.*

ARGHhh ranted @ 1:44 AM :|

Tai Tai Life
Tuesday, October 26, 2004

Yawns.I was in bed late on Sunday night at about 5am and waken up at 11am by Tong.*i nv ask for morning calls lo..*haha.Thinking that it will be yet another boring Monday.I am still out of job.I really need one to kill my time!! Been really into tai tai life these two days.except that i do not have that kind of money to spend and splurge.

Summing up of Monday's activities i had...

1.Went to buy lunch at the nearest new food court, with Tong and Paul coming over to my place.
2.Slacking at my place,Black and Senget joined us.
3.Fighting and playing.Reason: Requesting me to get them the "ling-ling" ice-cream.It was hell that i handled both tong and paul.*twin brothers indeed.*
4.Watched my fav show The Champions on chn 8.
5.After the show, we met Alex and An for supper at 824,tong went home.
6.Headed for central park to relax and chill for the night where geh and co joined.It was another hell time over there.Opponent,Alex.It was real fighting time over slippers.I almost won lo. It was fun. haha.
7. Home sweet home at the time of 3am.Chat up a lil with him after some soccer action.Zzzz till this morning.

Continuation of today's activities...

1.Woke up at 11 but went back to bed to nap till almost 12.Intended to meet up alex for town.
2.Met him at 1 for orchard. Had kfc tom yam lunch that tastes weird.sour-taste chicken.haha.
3.Both of us were all over Orchard today.First up,Taka.Next,Far east.Then,Wheel lock place, Wisma,Paragon and finally Heerens.We were doing window shopping and had set my eyes on couple of stuff.Roxy slippers,Mng top..blah blah blah. * i need money!!*
4.After being around at Orchard till 4.30, we headed back to Tm for his fav Ya Kun.Chat up a lil and it was time for home.

Hmm.I am tired.Having to walk around almost non-stop for three hours. Its time to rot home for the day and catch my fav show at 9pm,The Champion.I am feeling some itch for clubbing. Alright i am still in the midst of saving money for some movie this friday as well as clubbing maybe sometime next week.Life's boring now!!No job. Kakis working and studying.Its the max that i am so bored.Its funny.When i initiate to find a job and work,no one is willing to provide me with one.When i am too lazy to work,there are always jobs avaliable.

Goal of the week, getting my basic theory registered!! What about tomorrow?Yeah.Thats the plan for the day. I should get myself started. =) That way,i would feel better in being able to achieve what i have set for. I will.

P/S :a note to my friend out there reading.

Have confidence in you and believe in yourself that you will achieve what you have set for.I understand that what you are going through are downs and bumpy rides that is slowing ur morale down.Be positive and confident is half the battle won.Ni Xing De!! If its still to hard and stress for you to take it,then reconsider to stop lo.Since you have started, go all the way and give ur best.I will be here to listen and support ya? Cheer up dude!! =) * huggles*

That's the very least i still can do. Its time to get myself down into the kitchen to cook.Be back for for actions....Ciaoz...

Yan * boring boring boring me...*

ARGHhh ranted @ 6:03 PM :|

Monday, October 25, 2004


lil Alpha. ain't he cute? too bad my mumsy just wun let me get one. He's loving. =)
:: Yan ::

ARGHhh ranted @ 2:46 AM :|

Super-Duper-Mighty SIAN

Hmm..gloomy day.Just like the weathItalicer.Its been so cold this day.Got up pretty late at noon time when i was receiving morning calls from various parties.First it was Alex,next it was An and finally it was Tong.Manage to get myself out of the bed and got myself washed up.Planned to meet up An and Senget to go over to Alex's place for alpha.This lil doggie is just so cute. It will listen to commands and play around people.

After slacking at alex's place the whole afternoon,we came back to 827 for dinner and headed for chin meng's place for some mahjong and soccer watching while alex went to his bbball training.I was at losing streak again.*damn* its been so super duper sway.It was lucky though as i got myself a shareholder,Tong.*losses split*I am just not the gambling type.I never get to strike.No choice lo,to kill time.I don't have my kakis with me.*thats why...*

My life is such a boredom.Super-duper-mighty SIAN. No job for me to kill time and earn money.Fancy rotting home.Can't imagine how are my days are going to be for the next few weeks.Cartel's being hopeless.Hoping for an interview opportunity at Pan Pac. =) Though its kind of far at town,but no choice. Hell with cartel lor.Fancy not wanting me. *so what...*

Have I been thinking too much? I have been so stressed up!! Seriously i am.Mental stress.I just can't relax.I can't sleep well in the nights.Its so frustrating.I really need someone to count on,to depend and talk to.I find no one.Everyone's been into thier own life.I shouldn't be a pain or bother in anybody's neck.I only have my blog to turn to,just to vent off my frustrations of my day.Indeed,i am frustrated today.I have been so down this weekend. What's with me?I am having too much of ample time to be thinking over unnecessary stuff.I hate growing up.It means i have to be independent,responsible and strong to face life.The wants and don't wants of life. I guess this have to be my depression period again. This is being part and parcel of growing up life. I have to be independent.Its a challenge to learn and adapt to it.I am being too dependent of some of my fellow mates. It may be unhealthy for us in the long run.Its time i learn from lessons.

Chill.chill.chill.I seriously need a time-out.I need a job to kill my boredom.My way of life need some urgent amendments. *HELP!!!* I am so pissed by some mates of mine. Attitudes.All over.I guess i am one of the culprit.Can this stop.Its so irritating.*argh!!*

Tomorrows are always bored.Should go get myself registered for my basic theory.I wanna get my license too. Monday blues...Boring.

Yan *boring,boring,boring!!*

ARGHhh ranted @ 2:14 AM :|

Dreaming Of You
Sunday, October 24, 2004

Late at night when all the world is sleeping
I stay up and think of you and I wish on a star
That somewhere you are thinking of me too...

Cause I'm dreaming of you tonight
'Til tomorrow I'll be holding you tight
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be
Than here in my room, dreaming about you and me

Wonder if you ever see me and I wonder if you know I am there
If you looked in my eyes would you see what's inside?
Would you even care?
I just wanna hold you close but so far
All I have are dreams of you
So I wait for the day and the courage to say
How much I love you. I

'll be dreaming of you tonight
'Til tomorrow I'll be holding you tight
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be
Than here in my room, dreaming about you and me


Brilliant song.Sweet lyrics.Wonderful thoughts.I missed you....
Selena- Dreaming Of You...

ARGHhh ranted @ 3:45 AM :|

I am LONELY

It's been such luck these days. Sway is the word.Firstly,I got no job.Next,I fared badly for exams.Lastly,I lost 8 bucks on mahjong.Its been such a weekend that i hated so much.The days are jsut so unbearable. =(

Some updates about my Sat..here goes..
1. Woke up late at 12.30. Done up chores.
2.Peg visited me at 4.There came An,Bert,Hock,Qin Yao and Senget.
3.Met Tong,Mond,Ben and Chin Meng for dinner at 827.
4.Slacked the night at Chin Meng's place.
-Mahjong,Winning Eleven,Soccer.
5.Home sweet home.Been through a wacking journey home.Opponent,Tong.I won. =)

I have to lazy today to blog about stuff.Long and long posts.Anyway,I have been through mental tortures for days.Hmm..these days are just so hard to get by.Especially when i am out of job.Stupid Cafe Cartel!! Thought you need stuff urgently?? Am i so not up to it? Damn it. Don't come back begging me when u need me.

It was a lil fun last night,Friday night. The weather's been down with heavy pours these days and it was not suprise that we were caught up in a downpour last night,just as they wanted to start soccer. Paul,Mond,Senget,Tong,Me,Bah Geh and co were all trapped at the hockey court's lil stadium. The rain got so heavy that i was drenched even though i was under shelter. There were lightings that was so terrifying.I will never be the one getting struck by the lightings as I stand "low" among em.*proud*After playing around with all the fightings and walloping,all of us head for 7-11 then it was Ben's place for mahjong. The guys were there for mahjong marathon till this noon as Tong and I headed home first. It was one of the best nights i had this week. =) Having my close ones around me. It was warm,it was fun. *thanks...*

Right now.I am feeling lonely.I can't find the reason not to be.I AM LONELY. Loner. I just need someone to listen to me. No one's here for me. Simply no ONE. *weeps....* Forget it.I will not mention or breath anything anymore. I am wasting my breath.I ain't play any part in any of thier lives. I have decided.

That's almost about it the two days i had.Sunday won't be any better off i guess. So no point praying and hoping.

rwd.26 Yan *only lonely..pmsing..*

ARGHhh ranted @ 3:17 AM :|

Moody Friday
Saturday, October 23, 2004

I am so moody. Results out. Fared quite average.Getting worse each semester. =( I am out of top 25. Face the fact. I'm out of job. *damn!!* I am so depressed!! Life's like this. My depressed world. No job, No money, No results, No me.

Just got back from Ben's place as they are there for mahjong.Oh ya before that we were at hockey court,having fun in the rain. *the feeling's good...*

Enough of my day.No mood to blog. Everything in my world sucks!!! Moody Friday !

rwd.26 Yan * moody moody me..*

ARGHhh ranted @ 2:45 AM :|

Everything is BAD
Friday, October 22, 2004

The day's bad. I am bad.Everything is bad!! Had a pretyt rough night having quarrels with my Dad. He's forever this way. We as children don't even have our rights being his child.Its just ridiculous.* ARGH!!!*

Simply had no mood to blog about my day though it was better off than the night. I will blow my top if i am going to continue..

I am suffering from serious mood swings.So buzz off people. *its juz a signal..* In case i will blow my top.Praying hard i will get the cartel job!! I need it desperately. No work = No money. Please.please.I need it.

What a night i had.All thanks to Dad.

rwd.26 Yan * mood swings..pmsing!!*

ARGHhh ranted @ 1:28 AM :|

I wonder how, I wonder why..
Wednesday, October 20, 2004

I am feeling good this day as there are certain accomplishments i have achieved. Firstly,i got up late at about 1.30pm.I slept too much as i was awake at around 11 by tong's msg,without much thinking,i went back to my lala land again.The very first thing that came across my mind was the cartel job.Suppose to meet bao for some cartel time as well as my interview,but i got there alone as she was not able to make it.The interview was fine and it was the usual kind of part-time pay job.It all seems interesting to me where there are rumours all around that its tough working at cartel.I guess as long i am able to withstand carrefour's job,this should not be a big problem. *wish me luck..* Cartel is the place i loved so much to hang out with my fellow jie meis. =) Eh,jie meis come over when i got the job ya? must support me k? haha.

That was the first accomplisment i have made this week.I will be waiting for thier notice to start work next week.Then i will be rather busy working on weekends and weekdays.There goes my fun..Sometimes its good to change the kind of life i am in.Probably i will get to like and used to the new life with my new work.Rather than rotting at home,nothing better to do and think of unwanted things.*wonders..* The other accomplishment i have made will be lending my helping hand to my close friend,Alex.Not to mention much but i indeed feel good to be able to lend him my helping hand within my reach.No need to thank me one lo..*beams*You should know what to do in return hor..*threatens...*Well,its just kidding.Friends are meant to help and pull each opther through.No worries ya my friend? Will always support you one. =) You can make it,Believe in urself.

After getting my job interview,I went around at Century Square to get something and hang out quite awhile at the vcd shop searching for good movies as well my all time fav.Managed to get myself dirty dancing 2 and charlies' angels.Can't get my fav 2 fast 2 furious. *hmm...*After hanging round for half an hour, i headed for ocha to meet Tong,Ben and Senget. Before the three slow coach arrive,there came Keong and Felki.Its been a long time since we all met up at ocha to have a drink and chat a lil.It was good.*another accomplishment..* haha.I have always loved the Ocha days and nights with thier company. =) It was time for home sweet home as I walk home with Tong and this weak ass was complaining of headaches.take care la!

Hmmm...i have been home for the entire night watching ch 8 shows and they are getting good. Esp Ren Wo Ao You.Its been a day full of accomplishments that explains my better-off mood from the past few days. If everyday is just like today, my life will be good. =) I wonder how,I wonder why....* haiz*

Alright then,i shall be watching vcd soon.Prays that i will get the job.I need money!!



rwd.26 Yan * money...money...money...!*

ARGHhh ranted @ 10:01 PM :|


ms yan with specs again.she is going gaga over those kuku specs.this belongs to senget.hmm..i know it just suits me.*ahem* lol.
:: Yan ::

ARGHhh ranted @ 1:58 AM :|


Bao,An and Me acting cute as usual..Sentosa got us burnt..
:: Yan ::

ARGHhh ranted @ 1:57 AM :|


our fun moments posing at Sentosa! I miss those times!! Cute right?
:: Yan ::

ARGHhh ranted @ 1:56 AM :|


Tong,Me,Paul and Mond.In different shades of blue.Cool ya?
:: Yan ::

ARGHhh ranted @ 1:50 AM :|

I Love...

Finally having a total of 10hours of good,sounded and sweet dreams sleep.No more painful and torturing nights from toothache.I was damn refreshed today. =) I am feeling good.Woke up pretty late today at around one and had lunch home. I was thinking of going for my cartel job interview yet it was still drizzling after the whole night of rain that kept me sounded asleep under my cosy blanket. I hate to get myself out in the rain as it simply spoils my hair.

It was then i received a call from none other than a fella known as Alex.Wondering what good lobang he had for me again..haha.I was then asked over to see his new dog which his brother got it from some owner who desert it.He was cute and good.CAn't remember what breed it was but this doggy is just so guai and good to play with.He was named alpha *cool name..* better than what alex came up with Agua or A Kow..*LC names lo..* Had some time with the new doggy and it was around 4 that Bao came and meet us.The three of us went to Tm for our pastamania dinner.*fav of all time..* It was some tea session over at alex's fav Ya Kun and the 3 of us were betting on fellow rwd members' blood type.*haha* MOst of the guys were blood type A lo.Probably this is why they can get along that well and had the bond in em. It was almost six that we left as he went to get his specs done while bao and I headed home.It was another empty promise fo getting the interview. =( After having a piece of advice from Chee, he said it was not that good to work at Cartel and that explains the reason that Sheena quit it within a month.But, I am still willing to try it out and who knows it might just turn well for me,right? So wish me the best of luck!

After being home for a couple of hours, I went out to meet Tong,Chee,Senget and Mond to return my vcd and slacked at Ocha having some fries and nuggets.Did some catching with them as it was last night of Chee staying at tamp! HE will be in tekong tomorrow! Sure gonna miss this big brother.*all the bez brother!*

It seems that I am enjoying myself to be around with em. I have always love thier company.They made me smile no matter what.I am just lost without some of em.Those who made my life with joy and suprises. The 3 buddies of mine seemed to knock some sense to me last night which i refused to accept and understand.I am sorry.I was selfish.I had to think for you guys but i failed to.I was in total depression having to feel that i have lost all of you.I was feeling so lonely.I really need someone by my side.Probably it seems crazy and no big deal to you,but it meant so much to me.I depended too much on you guys.its always the case.I knew that my dependence will result in posession and I can't afford to lose anyone of you.In love,i have lost it all.I am bankrupt.I can't afford to lose any of mine this time.I do hope that i am being wanted,cherished and kept for.All i need was a shoulder to cry on,an ear for my sorrows and a friend i can share my joyful moments with.Once i had it all, now i am feeling nothing.I was cast away.Where have you guys been?Are you guys there?* hmmm...* I want my friends to be happy when they had my company.I just wanna tell em that I have always love em. I LOVE...my buddies!! All of em.Jie meis and xiong dis.Those who were always with me all along.Be it with me during my ups and downs.I will always remember who are the ones who cared for me.Esp my two beloved jie meis.Peggie and Bao.Not forgetting my papa,Tong.Xiong dis Paul,Keong,Senget,Mond,An,James and Jason.My soulmate cum long time friend,Alex. Though it gets kinda of mushy here but i just want all of em to know they are the ones in my life. I do hope i am something to em in their life.Esp my jie meis and papa.They are the ones i depended most on. I will seriously think over of what is being told and taught last night.Still, I am in the wrong to have made u guys angry.Thanks my fellas!!

By the way, i am still in the midst of thinking on how to deal with those bunch of idiots with filthy mouths and immature minds. Dun be sorry when its my turn to bitch you guys back.i will leave no mercy then. Better fuck off and stop ur shit before i get ur ass. I am serious and you have seriously caught my attention that i wun mind playing this with u. I will let you see what's suppose to be the "provoked" me.Just you stand there and get bitched by me.

Phew.Gonna stop all these here.Its the last time i am going to mention all these. I will get back to my normal life fighting for what's mine.For the sake who still care,those who need me.As for those unwanted shit,get out! I dun need any of em.Its life-threatening. I still wanna live long so dun come around near me.*all these sucks!* Alright...time for me to chiong my vcd of Lindsay Lohan's confessions of a teenage drama queen.Interview tomorrow...god bless.Nitezzz..

rwd.26 Yan * i will get over it..*

ARGHhh ranted @ 1:44 AM :|

Its all in a MESS
Tuesday, October 19, 2004

Messy.Irritated.Sad.Disappointed.Hopeless.Lonely.Unwanted.

I am so so so so sad. I really am. What are friends for? Where are they?

All gone.Lost.Nowhere to be found.

rwd.26 Yan * i am all alone.*

ARGHhh ranted @ 1:46 PM :|

Pathetic Me
Monday, October 18, 2004

Can't have my peaceful sleep!! I was in great pain from my ever-so-irritating toothache that I was not able to sleep at all.Manage to catch a few hours of "nap" and it was time to wake up to meet Alex for lunch. Met him at 12 which made him late of 10 mins which kept me waiting again. *ta pai one...*Both of us went KFC for lunch then went around to shop for his new stud.*nice la..*haha.Hang out till it was one plus that he need to head for town to interview for his dunno-what-job.I decided to head for Cafe Cartel for my interview too but it was a wasted trip as i got there earlier between 3-5pm,which is so happen to be thier walk-in interview slot. Hmm..i am just too lazy to work.No choice. No work= No money. Got to sacrifice my time to work lo. =)

Headed home for the day when Tong came by to slack,eat and watch vcd at my place.Repeated my fav movie,The Fast and the Furious.It was still good. Never got tired of it watching those brilliant driving skills and stunts as well as the pretty cars. Tong headed home and I went to the dentist for my dental appoinment,ALONE.Pathetic me right??No accompany.It was brave of me to get my tooth extracted all by myself.I was so terrify that the dentist had too psycho me before giving the jab.Still,i am brave just like what my Mummy said. "I am so proud of you!" haha.Then met up Tong again to meet Paul at James' place.Had some fun with Jasper round the house where this lil cute puppy barked at the Tv as there were some action fighting drama airing at channel 55.* keke..cute* He made us all laugh. The guys met up for some soccer action while I headed home.Simply because..some people I dun wish to see that i know for sure will spoil my mood.

Not to mention any names.Its something personal. But to those whoever it shall be, don't come stepping over me.I am no pushover.Don't allow me to bitch you anytime from now.Its serious with no joking around.I don't care what others will think, don't come mess around with me. I may look funny to you,playable to you, but I ain't gonna give you face to bitch you back. You just look shit to me.So,I hate to mess around with shit.Especially those idiots that turn me off the moment thier big mouths started to speak those filthy sentences. You hear that? Dun mess around with me.If you can't get the message,tell me and allow me to sent the message to you right infront of ur ever-so-irritating face. Its not that i hate you or what, its just that you have seriously provoked me. Ur ass mouth seriously need some bitching treatment from me.

Anyway,I just need somewhere to vent my frustrations.Its because of this shit people that mess my life. There is particularly nothing i can do much but i will still fight for my own rights.Been pmsing again these two days over scandalous thoughts,issues and feelings in me.I am still struggling. I sense it bad.Women's initution. I began to think if my friends around me are what they are.Am i being too highly of myself as well as em?I felt that i have slapped myself in the face.Afterall,I am not that important in thier life and why am I still doing things that keep the friendship alive? Maybe seeking a new life is the better way.Yet i do hate changes in life.The momentum,pace and way of life. I am doing fine now.But not good enough.I should occupy my life and time with other things such as work. Let me give it a try.Praying that it will be a good try. =p

Finally i shall be able to have a good night sleep after the ever-so-painful-troublesome tooth that i had extracted.I will be in my lala land. =)

ARGH!!! I NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO!!

rwd.26 Yan * i am not who i am...*

ARGHhh ranted @ 11:18 PM :|

11-0
Sunday, October 17, 2004

Rwd match.11-0.Won.Thrashed.Opponents were those from hockey court that they have faced last friday night.It was total thrashing for em on both occasions,no matter if its at street soccer or in the field.Still wanna act xl.haha.lesson learnt from em i supposed. =)

Hmm..kinda of bored this sunday.Particularly that i have to attend my family gathering as my relative came by from M'sia.No choice lo,got to attend with my family down to relative's place all the way at Boon Lay.*so far from tamp...*Caught up with my grandma and fellow younger which makes them so noisy to me.*argh* It would have been better if i am back at tamp.haiz..what to do.I am bored now.Its still so early this Sunday night.The rest of the guys were at Chin Meng's place as usual,mahjong.So bored!! Any plans?? Supper?? Hang out for a chat?? come on...i need something to do.the night is still young.

All my kakis are not available.Peggie,Bao and even rwd. Lonely-boring-nothing-to-do Sunday night.I guess i am still so confused over my thoughts.I am still in a mess.What's yes? What's no? What's right? What's wrong? Answer: I DON"T KNOW! i realise what i am thinking can be wishful and contradicting.I have to do away with all these thoughts as soon as possible.Before i got myself into deep unwanted trouble. Prevention is always better than cure. =P Hoping that i would get a way out soon.Away from all these scandalous issues and thoughts. *prays..*

I am still bored blogging about my stuff. I really need someone's company. =)

rwd.26 Yan *hmm...lonely*

ARGHhh ranted @ 9:59 PM :|

Painful Moments

Hmm..its been a torturing night.Broken sleep by the ever-so-torturing painful moments of toothache.*damn!*its so upsetting.Can't have my peaceful sleep with acute pain at times. I was so frustrated that i woke up to take painkillers to ease the pain.I will get by the ever-so-scary dentist tomorrow by appointment.I have to. =(

Woke up pretty late this noon and met up with Mond,An,Charis,Khia Seng and Bah geh for a Bugis trip. Senget,Bao and Peg joined us there.Nothing new or fresh was in store for my wants adn shopping list.Instead,i was craving for Tori-Q which I had a total of seven sticks of em.*yummy* haha.Its just a sudden crave.After hanging round till six plus,all of us head back to tamp for some soccer watching at chin meng's place. Ben,Albert,Jason,James,Paul,Tong,Chee and even Albert's bro,Lawrence was all packed at his place.it was a total rwd gathering. =)
Mahjong session going on as usual while i was there slacking my way through.I was down with toothache again. =( So irritating,painful,torturing and frustrating!! Hope it will get well as soon as i pop by the dentist. Anyway,i am so afraid of stepping into the clinic for treatment.its so pain.Why are there dentists in this world?Why is there tooth decay and toothache in us? If all these do not exist, there will be much lesser pain. Right?? haha.

Well.Its time to get some rest as i have to wake up 8 in the morning for rwd match at some old place.Praying hard that there will not be any toothache the entire night through.* fingers crossed*. That's it for my saturday. Tune in for for updates tomorrow...

rwd.26 Yan * hmmm...still in thoughts..*

ARGHhh ranted @ 1:49 AM :|

Question Mark
Saturday, October 16, 2004

Its been good and refreshed after 12 long hours of sound sleep with no more renovations pollution from don't-know-which-floor.*finally..*Its been a super rotting the whole of thursday after the clubbing at zouk.I am in lazy-sleepy mode the whole day round and its time to be awake mode today. Been awaken by incoming msg as well as phone calls from mummy. always nagging me to look after my lil brother who have just recover from his high fever.Heavy responsibilities indeed being the eldest.*haizz..*

Tong gave me a morning msg to inform me of his arrival for "free" lunch.haha.always "TAN XIAO PIAN YI" hor.Guess what?I have finally overcome my fears to switch on the guess stove all by myself!!without any help from anyone.haha.Cooked lunch of simple porridge with simple dishes of omelette,luncheon meat as well as stewed pork.Bao and Alex came to join us after our lunch.Alex was here just because he wants to get his hair styled and straightened.*agua leh..*As a professional hair straightener,which is ahem..me, got his hair done professionally. Good job right?haha.After he left for his some on-going function, the house was left with the three of us to watch Gu Huo Zai vcd which tong bought over.As bao left in the evening, it was left with the both of us to slack and rot till it was time to meet the rest for some soccer action at 9. The rest of the gang were having mahjong marathon the whole night through. they were strong.indeed.

Just got home and settled down after bath.Hmm..been thinking of popping by Bugis for some window shopping with rwd.its been such a long time since we have been out of tamp.

There have been just too much in me.I have been thinking quite alot these days.Its just as bad.Its a bad sign.Its not kinda of pmsing but its been such irritating voices running in me.Its messy,confusing and annoying at times.A big question mark round my head.Personal stuff too much to handle.Its kinda of mental stress at times.I have been telling myself to think things the simplest way it should be,yet, i am nowhere near that point of thought.why??i want nothing to change at this point of time.Its been good now.I want nothing to go the bad way though there are just certain things i simply had no control over with.I may be contradicting.that's the way i am in nature i suppose.What am i living for?what's the purpose of my life?Am i being too dependent? QUESTION MARK>>?? its all over me.I hate being me.*argh!!!* haha.its been such a long time since i have grumble this much at my blog.keke.Used to do this routine everyday without fail during those depression mode times.*haizz...* it will be always a bruise somewhere deep in my heart though.Thank you is what i still have to end with. =)

Alright,....shall end all these grumbles now.Looking foward to every start of the day.Shall turn in soon. Night night night...

rwd.26 Yan * hmmm.....????*

ARGHhh ranted @ 2:44 AM :|

Happening
Thursday, October 14, 2004

Woo hOo.It was a total night of fun at Zouk and Phuture.It was good.It was fun and it was groovy! Continuation of the Happening ladies night i had. *winks*

It was almost 9pm i meet up with Alex to Kenneth place before heading down to Zouk. Called up Jessica and intend to meet her at Zouk, together with Ling and Co as well as my 38s. Slacked at kenneth's palce for about an hour and called a cab down to Zouk and it was already almost midnight when the three of us got there. It was crowded and groovy down at Zouk's mambo night.It was fun.We all had long island tea that Alex and Kenneth had to finsih up the whole 1 1/2 jug.haha.Grooving at the mambo tunes at Zouk was fun and relaxing,groovy tunes indeed.After partying with 38s, met up with Ling and co to mambo more at Zouk.Alex and Kenneth went to join thier friends.All of us had fun. =) It was time for some Phuture time,r&b was totally cool. Lights on.*argh...* party's time over at 3am.Met all my 38s,Alex and co as well as Ling and co at the entrance.Supper time.Gonna let my stomach fill up with some food after partying the whole night.After supper at Tiong Bahru,we took a cab down back to Kenneth's place to slack and chat up by the pool.He went up to catch a bath and nv came down which he promise to. haha.I guess it was tired for almost all of us,yet with fun.Alex and I did a lil catch up and its been long time since we chat like that.It was good though.Both of us head back to tamp at about 6am and I only go to bed at 8am.

Wakie dokie! It was already 3pm before i could realise what's going on.Stomach's empty again and i got down to the kitchen to get some breakfast done.Porridge. *yummy* it still tastes good though it was rather simple. Still feeling tired at this point of time.Party the night without catching a wink. *lazy....* I am lazy.Rotting home the whole night home.Time to recharge myself for some more Zouk next week.haha. =)

Confused. Super duper confused.Voices running in me.Scandalous issues all over.I am just a total bitch.*what's new??* Sometimes i wonder how am i suppose to handle my feelings well? It come and go. I never had the ability to settle my mind down.I am messy.I am all over the place.*wonders...* Reasons? Its for me know and for me to find out. Argh!!

Zouk's the place.Love it.Had so much fun last night. *beams..*

rwd.26 Yan * confused???*


ARGHhh ranted @ 9:35 PM :|

Ladies' Night
Wednesday, October 13, 2004

Its the night...ladies night.Time for some clubbing later down at Zouk with my fellow 38s of Jess,Tracy,Minah and Ling as well as Alex with his co. =)Some chilling night at Zouk tonight..

Getting some time to blog about this lazy day again.Had some dvd watching of New York Minute by the Oslen twins.Its was kinda of cute movie.Met up with Tong and Ben as i was on my way to return the dvd.Nothing much to blog about today as I will be down at Zouk later in the night. Clubbing this ladies night. *keke* Anyway Happy Birthday to my lil brother!!!!

Hmm..should be home by early morning and till then I will update my part at Zouk. God Bless and have some fun!! =P

rwd.26 Yan * thinking........*

ARGHhh ranted @ 6:01 PM :|

Confessions
Tuesday, October 12, 2004

It was horrible to be awaken from the noise that was created by the don't-know-which-floor on going renovations.Irritating!! I was only sound asleep at 4am and was awake at 9am.I guess this will at least go on for another 2 days.I need my full eight hours of sleep!!! Anyway my lil brother was down with high fever and i had to stay home with him to ensure he's alright.Just a sister's responsibility. =) The singtel technician was here to check out the telephone line and fixed my modem problem i was suffering all week long. It was found out that the cable out there is faulty. Anyway the modem i am using now is not so compatible to the Pcs i am using.Hence, it will be time to get it change,again.* no choice*

As I had this swollen lips with no reason,I was afraid to go out. Its best not to scare people away with my sausage lips. *yuckS* its so itchy and hot yet i can't do anything about it cause its my lips. Luckily it got away in the afternoon. *phew...* No plans for the day yet someone pop by my place for his long afternoon break time. *haha* Tong was caught up with the game playing with my sick brother that he forgot to go back for his afternoon lessons. Anyway, he was down with a lil flu and was feverish. Hence i had to take care of two "ah sias", giving them attention to thier medicine time. *busy...* Paul,An and Ben were at paul's place for mahjong session with geh and co. as usual. Spent the whole afternoon rotting at home. It was night time that i met up with Mond,Senget and Tong for some Ocha session as well as getting my stuff done. I have got New York Minute dvd and my fav movie of all time, The Fast and The Furious to kill time for tomorrow and my late night.Plan to go club with my 38s at Chinablack tomorrow night. *yeah* My virgin clubbing with my 38s. =) Let's have some fun,some party time!!

Now i am here to blog about this lazy day. Gonna catch up a lil with my jie meis soon on the phone. Hmmm..its been too much of scandalous stuff going around in me. Should confessions be made and mess been cleared?? I am lost. I dun wanna know. Wishing to keep it on the low.I guess i need a breath taking moment of all these. I need a friend,not a lover this time.Friends last forever, lovers are for moment. I rather posses friend for my life, not having the lover for the moment.I guess i am not ready to face my own Confession. I am not. =
Enough of my lazing around day.. Gonna get my chat on the phone and the dvd i rented.Resting for the night. *thinking thinking thinking *

rwd.26 Yan * hmmm...confessions???*

ARGHhh ranted @ 11:21 PM :|

Ups and Downs

Its been such a dramatic day for me.Ups and downs to describe the day I had. LEt's talk about the Ups which will be having time to hang out with Bao,An and Alex for a game of pool at pavilion. The guys were busy with thier game while the two of us were busy catching up ever since we were missing in action for exams. I had some fun pooling with the pro guys.haha.i made myself a disaster man. i will be back for more. just the two of you be careful..another pro coming the way! *thick skin me..*After some slacking at TM,which Bao had to leave for her Mum's bday dinner, we met up with Paul and James. Had subway again!!My fav subway melt! That was my dinner.The guys decided to pop by my place hence called Tong to join us.Some tv watching and pure slacking was what we did.It was time for some soccer action with the rest of rwd as well as Bah Geh and co.

Downs for the day.Shall not be mention much.Its so sucky and yucky and super duper shit!!It something so personal that i would not disclose teeny weeny bit of detail.It is definately something sensitive and sad about. I had pour my sorrows by letting the tears flow. Felt so much better though, leaving those tears, had my own walk at the park.Alone. I feel good,with the breeze hitting my face, drying those tears on my cheeks. I am better for all I can say. =) Thanks to those who heard me out. The one who share my thoughts. You know who you are. *huggies!!*

p/s : I was not upset about the disturbing,attacking and playing fun of me.Its not the case.ITs something personal in me thats all. Sorry for causing some disturbance for the night.

These are the ups and downs i had for the day.Tired by now..hoping to catch some early sleep as I need to wake up by eleven for the technician to check on my telephone line. *argh* My net's been giving me hell!! Hope it will be ok soon... that's all folks! Wishing for a better tomorrrow...

rwd.26 Yan * troubled....*

ARGHhh ranted @ 1:50 AM :|

Something known as LIFE
Monday, October 11, 2004

I am still feeling tired!! After eight hours of sleep,I am still in tired mode.Woke up particularly late today at about noon time and got myself into mopping the house. It was time for some washing up and time to meet Peggie for her shopping. Met up with Alex too at Cityhall to go for shopping at Orchard.Been there twice this week and got quite a no of stuff I have set my eye for. =) Gonna get em all after getting my job.haha.I am still in lazy mode as I wanna enjoy a week of slackness,fun and time for myself.Needed to clear some tasks such as renewing of my passport and getting my basic theory.It will be the goals of the week. Then it will be time to settle down for some work. Earning money...money..money!

Peggie got her MNG skirt which is worth for money at the price of 25 bucks. I have set my MNG bottom as my next target.Its a pair of brown pants at the price of 30 bucks. The three of us went round shopping and dinner till 6.30 and hop on to express 518 back to tamp,meeting the rest of rwd.Tong,An,Jason,Mond,Chin Meng,Chee,Ben as well as Bah geh and Black. Went up to Cm's place for tv watching of Huan Zhu Gege 3 as An,Ben,Kelvin,Black and Cm mahjong. This night was full of fighting and screaming round the house.All becuz of me.Its so irritating to hear my screams around da house.*haha* I was attacked by names known as Alex and Tong. Never ending disturbance.haizzz..*keke* but it was fun afterall. =P never had peace with em and it was lucky of me still standing strong and tough. =) *thick skin me..*After Cm's place, it was time for soccer at central park and some supper at the prata shop known as Al' Kada. Jasper joined us for the night and he was so quiet today.Maybe he's too tired or just not adpating to the enviroment.He's cute.Irresisstable. =)

Having his company till it was almost 1.30am that I got home.So late. After settling down it was time for me to blog,slack and chat. Did a lil catching up with Tong over the phone till 3 as I continue my essay writing blogging session routine. Plans for Monday : Renew my passport and getting the new IC photo taken. That's all about my Sunday and its something that seems meaningful to be known as LIFE. do hope Bao,An and Jason chiong thier best for the very last paper. Jia You!! Its about time to turn in for my sleep...Nitezzz.......

rwd.26 Yan * irritating voices in me..*

ARGHhh ranted @ 2:43 AM :|

Jasper!!!
Sunday, October 10, 2004

Jasper. New member in rwd family!! He's too cute!! haha. this member is none other than James and Jason's new Jack Russell named Jasper.He's only a lil puppy 3 months old and yet he's so irressistable! Its so unlike our rowdee.*haha* The eight of us which included Tong,An,Jason,James,Chin Meng,Bah Geh,Qin Yao and I went all the way to Pasir Ris farmway this afternoon to have a look at dogs. Its fated that Jasper will be with the J brothers as he's what they are looking for. So cute!! I guess the majority of us will be in love with this lil puppy. =)

After some settling down down at James' place, I went home to get involved with my lil brother's birthday celebration. Its a chaos back home with kids of his age around in da house.Typical kids of their age, a pain in the neck.* shakes head* Caught up with my aunt and updated them with my life as they were complaining of not seeing me for such a long time as i have been out with my company of rwd.*beams* After my lil bro had his cake cut and blown, I went to join the guys for soccer watching at CM's place. *again....* Mahjong session was simply good for me today! Won a total of twelve bucks. *happy*

It was time to proceed for soccer action at central park and Jason brought the ever so cute Jasper down for his walk.So happy to see this lil puppy around my arms. Tong was suggesting that we take Jasper to the hockey court and let him run around. He was active though and we did not even leash him. He was good and well-behaved doggie.Better not Jasper turned into rowdee, it will be saddening.haha.it was a good night time with Jasper. How i wish i had one too...*wish...*But mummy would never ever let me have one.She's a super duper cleaned lady that will never ever tolerate pet's stuff. Too bad..my devotion for doggies will lie on Jasper then. =)

Been very tired this day. It was good though to spent relaxing moments with Jasper. Its nice,lovely and good. =) Time for me to catch my sleep...I will break down soon having to keep such late nights after exams for the past 3 nights. Panda eye with eye bags is what i am suffering from plus breakouts over my forehead!! *yucks* Ugly!! Sleep...catching my beauty sleep...nitez!

rwd.26 Yan * lovely Jasper...*

ARGHhh ranted @ 3:08 AM :|

Long long day....
Friday, October 08, 2004

First day of laziness I've had. I was tired though it was 10 hours of sleep that i have caught. Yet there are chores waiting for me to clear. After being dreaded by those never ending chores, I got myself washed up and it was time to meet An to get Alex's stuff.Pop over to fusion to meet him and get his newly coloured hair done. Definately someone is making a big hooha over his newly styled and coloured hair. *bleah* What's the big deal man?? haha. Then it was already dinner time and went over to 826 for wanton mee dinner. Thanks dude for the dinner! Bumped into Keong and the 3 of us walked home together.Its been a long time ever since i hanged out with these dudes of rwd.

Things usually change in life. Nothing remains forever. I just hate adapting to changes. Dramatic and unnecessary changes. It dispruts the pace of my life.Nevertheless, As the world is changing, I am changing too.I realised how dramatic change I had in me.I have been too caught up with my own life, which results neglection over certain things in my life. I am slowing down my pace of life. Weighing the importance of things in life.Friends are what i see and tresure in life.But there are certain issues I simply have no control over.The way I see my friends may differ of what they see in me. =\ Its saddening. I love my friends. Why am i such a failure? Holding no place,no trust and no importance in thier lives?? I am disappointed with myself. Maybe I have weigh them too much in me. I should learn to take things slow and steady in them. The disappearance of me may help in the long run.Its the way of slowing the pace of my life. Yet I still all of em to know that they are all imporatant to me.There's no difference between them and him as for now. I love em all. There have been too much ups and downs in my life that I could ever handle from relationships,friendships and family. TOO MUCH.

I am tired.I do.I really am. VERY TIRED.Shall catch my sleep and I shall end my day here...No programs for me on this lonely friday night.. Zzzzz.

rwd.26 Yan * not feeling good at all..*

ARGHhh ranted @ 8:18 PM :|

Exams OVER!!
Thursday, October 07, 2004

Phew. Exams OVER!!! finally i am myself once again. Being so stressed up for the past four nights of studying.Enough and getting over with!! haha. Though exams are over, I will have to chiong for some part time work to earn some bucks for myself. =)

After my final papaer of TM, I pop to town with fellow 38s to shop around and relax my day. Then after its time to meet up with rwds of Bao,Alex,Paul,Jason,Tong,Senget and Ben. Some chilling time with them till it was time to meet up for Daddy's Birthday on this very day. Happy Birthday Daddy!! Went on with daddy's birthday dinner with mummy and lil brother.

Now I am home to have time for myself after being stressed and cooped up for studying. Simply having mood swings. ARGH!! I have been suspecting of suffering from depression. Am I?? PMS routine. I guess i will have to try to relax and letting things with the natural flow. There are certain things in life that is out of reach. There is simply nothing I can do about it. Taking a step back in life is what i will have to do now.I hope things are clear after slowing my pace of life. Its been 2 fast 2 furious of life I am situated in. I should have been calm, careful, mature, sensible in my thinking instead of being wilful all the while. I have just being too demanding over myself and the things in my life. *calms down..* I've took take one big step back. I've get in too much in my life.Hoping that I will find something that I am living for, looking for in life. =)

That's all about it i guess. PMS on this very last day of my paper. *chilll......*

rwd.26 Yan *PMS queen*

ARGHhh ranted @ 9:00 PM :|

Stress vs Regrets
Wednesday, October 06, 2004

I am loaded with exams stress! This happens all the time.I am always stucked in the stress mode whenever it comes to exams.I guess this is just me,my nature.Stress will be gone after tomorrow,last paper to go on Thursday!! I have been in stress/Pms/sad mode tonight. With exams along, I sense the urgency of studying OB.But instead i have sneaked out to meet rwd for "studying". Did some studying and it got into my head. Kinda of feeling guilty. =\ HAIZ!!! I will be good to stay home and away from temptations as for the last night of studying.I will. This is what i have to promise myself as i need serious studying for my marketing paper. God bless me.

I have been rather slacking today. ARGH!! Regretted.Should have study more instead of slacking with Paul and Alex over lunch, should not have overslept my nap, should not have met up Tong,Paul,An and Jason for studying and should not be blogging at this point of time!! HELP!!! I am filled with regrets!! Stress!! Hope everything goes well for my OB paper. *prays...*

I am not in da right mood to blog much though.I am suffering from mood swings and pms. I have ponder over things in my life. The wants in my life.I should have slow down my pace of life and take a break to see things clear. I am messy.I should have consider slowing down. I guess I will. Taking the first step to set the things in my life now. My friends, family and thoughts...I should never be greedy having the best of both worlds, best of everything.Afterall i know myself well that i am not up to it, i shall not deserve that. =\ Am I being possesive??? Maybe i have expected too much from a friend. I will think about it.Serious thoughts! haha. alright, should not have time for all these, I will cast aside till after exams. As for now,studies shall keep me occupied instead of challenges faced in life. * swings...*

Wish me wish me wish me luck...

rwd.26 Yan * suffering from swings/stress/sadness*

ARGHhh ranted @ 1:08 AM :|

My Dream....
Monday, October 04, 2004

Never Had A Dream Come True

Everybody's got something, they had to leave behind
One regret from yesterday that just seems to grow with time
There's no use looking back or wondering
How it could be now or might have been
All this I know but still I can't find ways to let you go

I never had a dream come true '
Til the day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I've moved on
You'll always be my baby I never found the words to say
You're the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where life takes me to
A part of me will always be with you, yeah

Somewhere in my memory,
I've lost all sense of time
And tommorow can never be 'cos yesterday is all that fills my mind
There's no use looking back or wondering
How it should be now or might have been
All this I know but still I can't find ways to let you go

You'll always be the dream that fills my head
Yes you will, say you will, you know you will,
You'll always be the one I know I'll never forget
It's no use looking back or wondering
Because love is a strange and funny thing
No matter how I try and try I just can't say goodbye

A penny of my thoughs. As this song was played,memories started to flow..non-stop. These are the ones refusing to vanish,refrain to go. haha.fancy me having the time and mood to think about those memories.I should be busy revising instead of blogging. Alright,gonna get down to more AR revision before I stopped for the night. exams tomorrow...*god bless me*

rwd.26 Yan * exams stresss!!*

ARGHhh ranted @ 8:39 PM :|

3 days....

3 days and counting....to the last paper.Had my accounts paper this morning.It was fine but i am still stucked at balancing the stupid balance sheet.Disaster!! I guess that whole question will be left with working marks. argh!!I guess there goes my B for accounts.Anyway, this sem's top 25% will not have my share anymore.So, i have to be more "open" this time round.Can't blame anyone else except myself.I have not put in enough to achieve what i am suppose to. =
Alright...let accounts be gone.Anyway, i managed to take some tips from Chanz regarding the next two paper, OB and AR.haha.Gonna study smart and study hard instead of studying hard only. =) Spent my lunch with her and catch up a little after seperating for such a longgg time. Met that "bai kar" Tong at Ocha and bump into Hock too. That bai kar is damn rich lo.Took a cab to Ocha from his school!! *waste money, bai jia zi* The three of us slacked after our papers and walked home with bai kar Tong.it is so kind of me to accompany him home these days.So must know what to do next time hor Tong..*ahem*keke.

Now here i am finding some time to blog before i am get stressed up with AR revision in awhile.4 chapters to digest.Full of theory.*haiz*I will be camping home these days till exams are all over.I will have my fill of fun after exams!! I am having lots of peace at home right now without my lil irritating brother as he will be away for camp till wednesday!! *beams*

Gonna get down to revision and more studying soon..no more outings for me! Camp home to study....bleah. Exams stress is always on..God bless me!

rwd.26 Yan *exams stresses...!!*

ARGHhh ranted @ 1:00 PM :|

Stress!!
Sunday, October 03, 2004

Stress!!! Accumalated stress over the week. Due to inefficiency of studying for my coming exams. It will be my accounting paper tomorrow.*argh* I have covered several heavy topics..leaving with theories to go. Practice more...more ...more...

It was rowdees match at kaki bukit with the marina team guys. But..we lost.2-4 was the score. An and Chee scored.Heard that Senget, Alex and Desmond almost had the goals.* wasted*!Maybe i wasn't there today..thats why.*thick skin...*haha.Guess it was the team with the comeback and ours was not on form.There will always be setbacks to lead the team's way to succeed!!Tong was injured.*haha* Accompanied this ever so troublesome guy to the chinese physician at 802 to have his pig leg consulted. Paul met us there and went to Meng's place for some revision,slacking,vcding,mahjong saturday. Meng,Paul,Tong,Mond and I decided to have a game of mahjong after my revision. Well, it was disaster for me and my shareholder,Tong, as we were at super losing streak.Then,it was the last round that came back with all the lost chips.He gamed with "Gor Tai Zi Mo" of "Qing Yi Se". * well done!* haha.at least we only lost two bucks.Peggie,Albert,Senget,Mond, James,An,Chee and Ben came over in the night.I was there doing some of the past exams questions on the heavier "bigger" topics of my accounting. =) Practice makes perfect.That's the way it goes. Guess i will have to camp home for four days for more serious and stressful studying...*god bless* it will be endless amount of studying for the next four days.I am sure i will be home the whole day through...camping home to study.Will be missing in action of fun. keke.

Well,facing with so much stress. Exams,life,friends...*argh* finding it hard to cope with it sometimes. =\ Needed someone to hear all my sorrows, my pain and my thoughts. It seems no one had this patience with me.haha.I am such a pain, such a troubled one.Its always the case. Maybe i am fated to be in this life,this situation facing all these. After exams, it will be time to let it all out.PLanning for shoppin spree and KTV with my jie meis, clubbing with my 38s, as well as time for rowdees.Then, it will be time to get myself busy with part time work to earn myself some money..money..money! haha.

First of all, to face that four days would be a challenge. No more late nights, outings and meeitng up with my mates.*sadded* I have to push myself hard to study!! It will be over soon!! Kinda feeling lonely in me.Missed someone.*beams* It just hit me out of the blue!! I am missing someone!! very strange indeed.haha. Its getting a lil late so got home with injured Tong escorting him back with his pathetic injured left foot.*keke* didn't mean to be so bad..take care la!!stay home and don't move around so much,if not it will become elephant's leg instead of a pig's.Hope to see you good sooon after i MIA for exams. =) Get well soon.

Alright..still so awake at this time!!oh gosh..can't imagine i will have to turn in for early night when exams start..* weepss...* exams here again...

rwd.26 Yan* exams...stress!!*

ARGHhh ranted @ 1:03 AM :|

PMSing
Friday, October 01, 2004

haiz. my routine.Pms again.For whatever reason?Over myself.I am tired of fighting.I am stressed!! I have no idea what am i thinking and doing this to myself.I should have enjoy this friday with rowdees yet i am here angry with myself. All of em were heading for 85 market for dinner. Instead, i took the way back home. =\ Sian will be the word.I have no idea why am i feeling so extra, sad and frustrated of myself out of the blue.It must have been accumalated grievances these days. *haiz*

I thought i was happy with the life i am in now. I have missed lots of time with my jie meis.I realise you guys have been tolerant with my nonsense. I just need some time to clear the mess.I will have to set my piorities and the things I want clear.Messy,lost and confused. All are still close to me.its just...i dunno. I am lost for words.Maybe its the exams stress i am facing that puts me down.Its definately not a normal thing for me to be home at this hour blogging,alone. *ARGH!!* I am very vex ar!!!

Sorry Tong, Paul, An, Ben,Senget,Meng. didn't mean to walk off suddenly. Its not others but i am just feeling kinda of not in the world. Maybe i should have consider carefully before agreeing to meet up. Sorry.

Now let me have my own time. some soul-searching needed. PMsing....Lonely friday night.

rwd.26 Yan * Pms Queen*

ARGHhh ranted @ 10:09 PM :|

Study!!!

I am not started!! *argh* Simply did not have the motivation and mood for revision. Help...I have done my chores and its time for some self-revision.Erm..thinking, what to revise??Marketing or Accounts?? ALright shall not hesitate further...get down to study till evening!! Be back for more action tonight.... =)

rwd.26 *forcing herself to revise..*

ARGHhh ranted @ 2:35 PM :|

Lazy....

I am lazy!! Too lazy! Wasted a day without much studying.I am feeling so pek cek with myself!!I am Pmsing again.When will i get to settle down for once to study for upcoming exams???*argh!*Decided to camp home tomorrow afternoon to finish up my accounting or marketing revision.at least one of em.If not i am bound to die flat in the examination hall.Its my mission for the day.STUDY!

Start off the day by meeting An and Paul for long john lunch!*happy* Its been such a long time ever since i had the taste of combo meal one.haha.Tong as usual lazing at home refusing to join us.*lazy ASS!* hence, i would have to ta bao for him..troublesome..haiz~hahaha. The three of us slacked around at Tm till 4 and went to had "redeemed subway".The service crew were so fuck up.They were not up to service quality.All 3 of us were so pissed off with "what's wrong with the subcard?" *angry* anyway, as long as we had our free meal it will be fine.who cares those aunties..Tong and Bah Geh came over to my place and i started to pull my marketing notes and flipped through,refreshing my memory,getting some important points into my head.*winks* Then it was tv watching as usual...and i was attacked again. haha.My lil brother got beaten up too.All three of em,Tong,An and Paul were merciless to us siblings.Just you watch out lo... =P haha.it has always been the case.Fun!! but it was kinda of violent..so guys would you just tone down the level of violence,hey i am still a girl ok? Still a "Qian Jin" hor. Slacked till 10pm and it was time for rowdees soccer at bball court.the usual thing.didn't had the intention to go down but was being asked to get down. Anyway i am not in da mood to do my marketing revision due to some ermm...stuff which just irritates me.Forget it. *cools down*

Just got home at around 2am which was so late then mummy would blow her top.*haha* Parents are just parents.I love em for who they are.Love em for the kinda of understanding they had for me.The love and concern for me.I am fine Mummy.I am really ok. =)

A couple of us were planning for a Genting trip end of October!! Wondering will it be a success? Really wanna have time out of this and get ourselves a simple fruitful trip of holiday. Memebers include:Paul,An,Yan,Tong,James..and a few still into consideration. I will call up to enquire about the package tours to Genting as well as online booking stuff.Its my duty to plan this for me as its of my future profession,the tourism mgmt student into the tourism industry. *ahem..* So for those rowdees fellows who are interested and will be able to make it on 22ndOct till 24th Oct which is Friday to Sunday,kindly inform Ms Yeow asap.Enquiries please kindly contact her after tomorrow. =)

Hoping that we were be able to make it.Lets make it a real fun trip!!*haha* well its my first day to quit. I am doing well.i haven had any today.its still a good sign.*happy*I guess there is nothing much for me to say about.I had too much.Its time to go...thinking too much its been hell. I definately need no one else to step into my affairs and my world.Its already complicated enough for me to clear those mess.So if you are one, kindly move away from me. Thanks is all i am gonna say.

Attn to the following:
*Bao*..hey ger, we are so apart these days.i am feeling bad and i missed u!!! we should really catch up after exams.so u are mine, i dun care!! KTV,Shopping,Movies..everything!
*PEg*...this teacher peggie is being so tied up by her lil ones.jealous...haha.i know u have been busy with work but we will still catch up this week ya? at least one day before my exams starts and i will busy with em. =P
*Tong*...cheer up la!! dun stress urself over those studies. just know what you want and what you lived for.U will still have the rwd to be there for u when u need it.u noe it lo.still wanna see the Tong just like today and not the sad sad one.Need any venting machine or listening ear or even crying shoulder,some find me la!! *smile always* ya?? =)
*An*..hey dude! din knew we could also talk that much with just the two of us.haha.so must catch up more chatting sessions with u le.i know i am irritating..but..thanks ya my hao xiong di!
*Paul*..wau lau eh, always like to suan me one hor.Nvm..i wun take it too hard.its the fun in us.let the trip be true....haha.

well...enough of my thoughts.Its been almost 2 1/2 months i ahve been blogging and nagging over these personal stuff and private thoughts.This is just the nature of me.I can't help not saying it out.I will die in a faster way.bleah.Tired for the day ..very tired.Will be in bed soon to catch my rest to perk me up for the day tomorrow for revision,chores as well as night cycling to 85 for dinner with rwd. =) excuse myself to relax when i am being so slack.haha. *bleah*
Good night fellows...

rwd.26 Yan * irritated,frustrated,simply cannot be bothered.*

ARGHhh ranted @ 2:34 AM :|